shadow_demon
Well-Known Member
ya probly
I Got A *JOKE* for ya
- Thread starter AnArchyArto
- Start date
Abominable Pamma
Premium Member
It's "whore" with a "W"
EliteSwede
Member!
thats old
thats an old joke but its more true than funny
thats an old joke but its more true than funny
daoffshoreman
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ditto
master chief
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i girl ask here father can i have 20 dollars the father says if you do me a favor and give me head so she does afterwards she asks daddy why does your dick taste like shit he said your brother wanted i skateboard :lucifer
Maverick
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A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
shadow_demon
Well-Known Member
o shit thats funny stuff///nasty
DB
Premium Member
What do gay guys call speed bumps?
Hemeroids
Hemeroids
shadow_demon
Well-Known Member
lol
Maverick
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KIDS SAY THE DARNEST THINGS....
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
************************************************************************
In exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's Sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
************************************************************************
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with metonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
************************************************************************
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."
************************************************************************
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
************************************************************************
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Ms.Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: Da-ad..."
"What?"
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a drink of water?"
"I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later... "Daaaa-aaaad..."
"WHAT??!!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
************************************************************************
In exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's Sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'"
************************************************************************
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with metonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
"I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
************************************************************************
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."
************************************************************************
It was that time during the Sunday morning service for "the children's sermon," and all the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said to her, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
************************************************************************
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground,
Ms.Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
EliteSwede
Member!
thats some funny stuff, anyone every see saving silverman? now that shit b funny
kill_you
Member!
hummmm disturbing
kill_you
Member!
also disturbing
Maverick
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I don't get it really.
The Trucker and 3 Bikers
A truck driver stopped at a road side diner for lunch. He ordered a cheeseburger, coffee, and a slice of apple pie.
As he was about to eat, three motorcycles pulled up outside. The bikers came in, and one grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger and took a bite from it. The second one drank the trucker's coffee, and the third wolfed down the apple pie.
The Truck driver didn't say a word. He simply got up, paid the cashier, and left.
When he was gone, one of the motorcyclists said, "He ain't much of a man, is he?"
"He's not much of a driver, either," the cashier replied, "He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
AnArchyArto
Member!
I got another Joke since im the host of the thread i shall keep giving jokes...
*ok there was this little girl and little boy they both had to go to the bathroom so they think well we will just go behind that tree together well when they were in the process the girl asks what that was he had there (his dick) then the boy asks what is that you have and so on then at the end they said they will ask there parents well the boy went home and asked and the dad said that was his 1945 roadster and you park it in any girls garage well the girl asked to and the mom said it was the girls garage and you dont let any 1945 roadsters park in it well later on in the day they where playing in the girls yard and they had to go to the bathroom agian All of a sudden the mom heres a scream and she say what happen and the girl came up to her with blood all over her face and she said that the boy tried to stick his 1945 roadster in her garage and she bit the back tires off.
*ok there was this little girl and little boy they both had to go to the bathroom so they think well we will just go behind that tree together well when they were in the process the girl asks what that was he had there (his dick) then the boy asks what is that you have and so on then at the end they said they will ask there parents well the boy went home and asked and the dad said that was his 1945 roadster and you park it in any girls garage well the girl asked to and the mom said it was the girls garage and you dont let any 1945 roadsters park in it well later on in the day they where playing in the girls yard and they had to go to the bathroom agian All of a sudden the mom heres a scream and she say what happen and the girl came up to her with blood all over her face and she said that the boy tried to stick his 1945 roadster in her garage and she bit the back tires off.
Maverick
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There were two blondes walking on a country road one day and they saw another blonde in
the middle of a wheat field, rowing in a canoe. One of the blondes which was walking looks
to the other and says"you know, it's women like that who give us a bad name."
The other walking blond replied "yeah, and if I could swim, I would jump out there
and kick her ass!
the middle of a wheat field, rowing in a canoe. One of the blondes which was walking looks
to the other and says"you know, it's women like that who give us a bad name."
The other walking blond replied "yeah, and if I could swim, I would jump out there
and kick her ass!
kill_you
Member!
lol i get it that one is good... any way
YO MOM JOKES
yo mom so stupied she got hit by a parked car
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yo moms so stupied she jumped off the empire stat building and stoped to ask for directions
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yo mom so fat she jumped into the ocen for a save the wales program and all the wales stsrted singing "we are family!!! even tho your fater then me"
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yo mom so fat she haves her own area code
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yo mom teeth soooooooooo yellow when god said "let there be light" she smiled and he said "AAAAAAAA TO BRIGHT TO BRIGHT"
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yo mom so
Oxide08
[New And Improved!]
lol those r some good ones.. i will try to find a good one like that
Maverick
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I got one more:
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more.
The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?"
"That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"
Sgt.Slice
BattleForums Addict
I got one
Once there was this guy on the batte forums who had 3000+ posts and thought he would be really cool if he posted the gf that he probibly wont even be with a year or 2 from now in his sig. Now if everyone on here posted their girl in their sig.....well things would look pretty fruity around here.
Once there was this guy on the batte forums who had 3000+ posts and thought he would be really cool if he posted the gf that he probibly wont even be with a year or 2 from now in his sig. Now if everyone on here posted their girl in their sig.....well things would look pretty fruity around here.