I Got A *JOKE* for ya

[kill_you]

ok heres a good joke i heared in school (on and mav i told my freainds the guy who needed to masterbeat joke they all loved it)

a teacher told the class to find out the first 4 letters in the alphabet for home work

a boy gone up to his dad and said "whats the first letter in the alphabet" the dad was buzzy so he said "SHUT UP" then the boy go's to his mom "mommy whats the first letter in the alphabet?" then mom says "b" then the kid said "what" then the mom said "you heared me" then the boy goes to his sister who is talking on the phone "sister whats the 3rd letter in the alphabet"
"shut up you heared me" the sisster said
then the boy goes to his brother who is watching tv "whats the 4th letter in the alphabet "na na na na na na bat man"

so the boy goes to school and the teacher askes him "whats the first letter in the alphabet "shut up" the boy said "WHAT?" the teacher said "shut up you heared me" "who do you think you are?" "na na na na na na bat man"

sorry if the spelling is bad i was in a rush when i poasted it so i dont have time to spell chek it.

 

[amazon_14]

how do u no if blonde has been using ur computer...........................................................................................the joystick is wet..LMAO

 

[Maverick]

Originally posted by master chief
i wrote the first post 30 mins before i wrote the second post:shoot

Still you could edit it.

 

[kill_you]

ok this is a good joke are you ready for it... its a little crazy but just amagin the crocidile hunter is saying it to you.

"I mate! did the dingo **** your baby?"

ha ha... ok it was stupied.

ok heres a pissed of italian mob boss.

"you f*cking ****erock"

heres an old old old old verey verey old old man

"GET OFF THE ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDD FUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEERRRRRRSSSSSS

ok thats all the imatations i know... they are stupied hu? tell me if you think they are stupied....................................

 

[kill_you]

hay why cant i say ****eroch?

 

[Maverick]

Say what? What do you mean?

 

[kill_you]

you know a roach well i cant say ****roach

 

[kill_you]

see it did it again i cant say c-o-c-k-r-o-a-c-h

 

[james_in_time]

ok no more anal jokes!!!
#1wat do micheal jackson and wal-mart have in common??
both have little boys pants half offfffffffff
#2 Alf-alfa ,Buckwheat and Darla were in a spelling bee in school.
Alf-alfa goes first the teacher says ok spell Beautiful ok he spells it ok now use it in a sentence Darla u sure are beautiful teacher says ok good. Darla spell Nasty ok she spells it ok now use in a sentence Buckwheat u sure are nasty..... ok good Darla. Buckwheat spell Dictate he spells it ok now use it in a sentence Darla how my dic tate last night?!?!!?!?
#3 wats the diff between a mosquito and a blonde?? a mosquito quits suking when u smack it.

 

[ChrisH36]

Two guys were walking home from the bar, and came across an indian (native american type) who had his ear to the ground as if he was listening for oncoming animals. The indian said "Two horses, father, mother, 4 children, and a bandwagon full of hay." The guys said "Are you hearing their footsteps?". The indian said, "No there not coming, these were the people who ran me over!"

 

[Maverick]

Q: How many women does it take to install a light bulb?
A: None. They have mean to install it for them.







Yeah I know it's lame but I feel really lazy today.

 

[kill_you]

hay what do you know maverick told a joke that wasnt disturbing

hip hip horry
hip hip horry
hip hip horry

 

[Maverick]

Hahahaha.... Well it's called "Mood Swings" Kill.

 

[kill_you]

lolZ

well my turn to tell a disturbing joke

a boy went to camp for the summer and he had a realy thin sleeping bag. so one of the councilers saw him so he said "come over here ill share my sleeping bag with you." the boy was only 9 so he thought the guy was being nice so he goes over next to the guy. then the guy gets a little clouser to him. the boy just figures thats some way of staying warm you know so he didnt care. then the man stuk his and down the boys pants

now all the boys in the camp said this at the same time "HE"S A FAGET HES A FAGET HE TOUCHED MY DICK" so the police came on all the councilers were arested

ha ha get it they gave all the kids thin sleeping bags so they could try mesesting them. ha ha
____________________________________________________________
BLOND JOKE

a red had to play a hollow drum for band class. so she asked a blond to practise with her. the blond says "ok i played a few tunes in my day"
then the red starts hitting the blonds head with the drum sticks.
____________________________________________________________
a kid stubed his tow and yelled JEASUS CRISTE. then a preist said "did you just use jeasus's name in vain?" then the boy said "im soooooo sorry i never ment to use his god dam name in vain."
____________________________________________________________
i made all these jokes i just told you. tell me if you think they are good...

 

[DB]

they could use a little more work, the first one especially

 

[kill_you]

well i was realy just trying to make a disturbing joke to make up for the one joke that mav made that wasnt disturbing... i gusse im not all that good at it yet.

 

[master chief]

TWINKLE LITTLE STAR
Twinkle, twinkle little rectum big ****s cum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.

OLD MAN
There was an old man from gosham,
who got out his bollocks to wash'em,
His wife said oh jack if you don't put'em back,
i'll stand on the bastards and squash em!!!

FAMILY
your father had your mother,
your mother had your brother,
it's just 2 bad your fathers mad and
your mothers now your lover

GUY PERIOD
If guys had they periods
They would compare the size of their tampons!

DEMONSTRATION
Sex is when a guys communication enters a girls information to
increase the population for a younger generation do you get the
information...or do you need a demonstration

:shoot :fencing

 

[Maverick]

While in the playground with his friend, Little Johnny
noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny.
"Nope." replied Jimmy.
"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?"
Again Jimmy says "Nope."
"You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny.
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the
other night when they were 'doing the nasty'.
Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."
Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely
jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That
night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide
open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid
stroke, turned and said angrily.
"What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
Without missing a stroke, his father said,
"Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet."

 

[MarkS]

A rich young man goes out and buys the best car available, a Ferrari 575M Maranello. It is one of the fastest and most expensive cars in the world. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops at a red light. An old man on a moped who looks like 90 years old pulls up next to him.

The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"

The young man replies, "A Ferrari 575M Maranello. It cost $500,000."

That's a lot of money," replies the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do over 200 miles an hour!" states the young man proudly.

The moped rider asks, "Can I take a look inside?"

"Of course," replies the owner.

So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"

Just then the light changes, so the young guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 10 seconds the speedometer reads 170 MPH. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whizzes past, going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it looked like the old man on the moped! "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a moped outrun a Ferrari?" Again, he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whooooosh-

BLAMMM! It plows into the back of his car. The young man jumps out. It is the old man!!! The old man is pretty stunned and shaken up.

He runs up to the old man and says, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man groans and replies, "Yes, kindly unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror."

 

[Da FLUFY_KANGAROO]

....OK...........That was the weirdest thing ive read so far:fencing