Fallen into massive depression. I am Negatron!

Static

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This one is long....

Now as the story(which oddly enough for me, this is a true story) goes on you will understand the title if you watched old transformers.

Besides the fact that a lot of crap happened to me over the past couple of years, which life tends to do, I am deeply in depression. The main fact and some reasons I am posting this is to one: Get it off my chest and two: to see if I am so wrong in my thinking.

In this day and age in America it is simple fact you need money to have any kind of comfortable living situation. I live in a someone delapadated town, crime here and there, a lot of drugs, few jobs. I do work, but it is difficult to pay bills, typical American middle to low income family deal.

Well when my grandfather died in 2008 he left money in funds in the form of an IRA. The "advisor" (i use that term loosely) advised me to be more "aggressive" and put money into stocks... about 3 months later is when the stock bubble said FUCK YOU and i lost about 40% of my money.

Later my brother gets a HOT TIP from a friend to put money into a company called Regeneron. So I heed the advice and buy 250 shares at 22 dollars. It was going good, then the stock started falling, I sold at 43dollars a share. Pretty much doubling my money... my stock advisor said OK lets do it.

The stock is now at 266 dollars a share.... If I sold now. I would have made over 60,000 dollars profit. If i waited WHO THE FUCK KNOWS HOW MUCH MORE!!!!! as an old saying goes.... "Money I don't make is money I lose."

Something like that will not come again.

Now the reason this depresses me is I need a new car and mainly as a pessimistic I contribute my monetary funds to my "lifeblood" being that as when I run out of money I will completely lose my desire to give a fuck. I don't fully know if this thinking is out of the ordinary. Being a pessimistic I don't really see a future for myself other than being bluh without money.... I am going to college but even that is a bit depressing....

I told the main bits of this story to a co-worker and said how that money would of revitalized my lifeblood.... saying "Starscream... we need more regeneron cubes." in which case he dubbed me Negatron.


So in conclusion.... In America, can you be a pessimist and be happy without money?
 

torrid mind

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I don't personally know any happy pessimists...

I do however, believe it is possible to be happy without money. Of course only after you can meet your basic needs. This is my life goal, to rely on money as little as possible. Perhaps it's escapism, but it's what I think will make me happiest in my short time here. I have a plan and the drive to do it. For me, happiness doesn't depend on money, it depends on me. Even in the worst times in my life (and trust me I am no stranger to poverty) I have been able to create my own joy. Then again, at times I have been depressed. Even though I thought I would be depressed forever, I have always manged to pull through it, as I'm sure you will. Things get better, I refuse to believe in permanence :p My problem is that I get really hard on myself for having any negative feelings, and even more down on myself for being so hard on myself haha. I hope you have more sense than me in that regard.

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, especially that it has driven you into depression. It's practically impossible to get out of your own head when you are depressed and it feels like it will never end. I wish I had something more insightful to say, or could help you even in some small way.
What is it about collage that you find depressing?

I guess I feel like the joy we find in objects is a joy that is short lived. Soon we will want something else and no longer feel grateful for what we have. That doesn't sound like your trouble though. Your post didn't leave me with the impression that you think you wont be happy unless you are rich, but rather that you are struggling to maintain your basic needs and find comfort in life.
If that is not the case I will just say, if you can't be happy poor you can't be happy rich.
 

Glowy

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Well least you can do drugs. Being depressed and sober is horrible. Best of luck to ya
 

guysensei

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Second-guessing stock market decisions is a lost cause, even for professionals. In your case, you lost 40% of Grandpa's money, but then got it all back by making 100% on that stock (by the way, it's illegal to trade on insider tips, so not the best road to long-term wealth). But you did great on that trade, selling at 43.

Finish school and get yourself a job that will pay you for an honest day's work. After a few years, if you find a passion, start your own business, and work will continue to be interesting.

While you're doing all this, spend time with people you care about and learn how to enjoy the little things in life. It'll come around.
 

Glowy

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Start your own version of the movie taken but with midgets
 
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