Monogamy!

[B~E]

Simply put, here's my tought on sex and relationship : Sex isn't always an expression of love, its just a mean to kill the need. Therefore, sex with another partner than your better-half isn't really infidelity, when no feelings where involved. While most people to whom I have tried to explain this have called me crazy, I can assure this kind of thinking could have saved more than one couple.

Needless to say, my girlfriend and I do not see eye to eye on this matter.

 

[Galatia]

Will you still think that sex with a person other than your gf/bf is not infidelity IF your gf does it. mr BE?

 

[B~E]

Of course, she's free to do whatever she wants. Lets say she goes in another country for a certain period of time. Whatever she does there doesnt concerne me.

It becomes infidelity the second she has feeling for that men and, as a result, realise she doesn't really love me anymore. But if she has sex with someone, but no feeling where involved, its just like a one nighter, its nothing but masturbation.

But lets be honest, this isn't a way of living I'd be ready to try at 19 years old, there no way im mature enough to deal with it. But still, this is how I think.

 

[Galatia]

It becomes infidelity the second she has feeling for that men and, as a result, realise she doesn't really love me anymore.

If she realises that she doesnt love you any more and she breaks up with you, you cant accuse her for *infidelity*.

 

[B~E]

If she becomes fidel to someone else, which is only possibly through love and not through sex, she is infidel to me.... but maybe we have different deffinition of the same word. What is fidelity/infidelity ?

 

[Galatia]

Infidelity is lying and pretending. Fidelity is being there for the other, no matter what.

 

[jd-inflames]

Either way, I don't want my female touching someone else, or even talking overly friendly. Jealousy issues? I think not. But when a girl swears to me that she is mine, she's mine. I'm not objectifying her in any way or being possessive, but knowing that she is screwing around toys with my trust a LOT. And I've had a girl cheat on me, not a pleasant experience.

 

[Galatia]

Better not trust anybody, mr. JD. Especially *your female* - because she can never be *yours*, just like you can never be *hers*. We are only *ours*.

 

[B~E]

Infidelity is lying and pretending. Fidelity is being there for the other, no matter what.

Logicaly, shouldn't your definition of fidelity be the opposite of your definition of infidelity, insteed of being a completly different definition ? Still, your definition of fidelity (which is a little bit poor, if you ask me ) doesn't infringe on my views on sexual behaviors anyhow.

 

[Tipsy]

Infidelity is lying and pretending. Fidelity is being there for the other, no matter what.

Logicaly, shouldn't your definition of fidelity be the opposite of your definition of infidelity, insteed of being a completly different definition ? Still, your definition of fidelity (which is a little bit poor, if you ask me ) doesn't infringe on my views on sexual behaviors anyhow.

Last time I checked the definition of infidelity was being unfaithful to your spouse and fidelity was being faithful to your spouse. So fidelity doesn't really apply to you unless you are married.

 

[B~E]

Last time I checked the definition of infidelity was being unfaithful to your spouse and fidelity was being faithful to your spouse. So fidelity doesn't really apply to you unless you are married.

So your saying that if a couple isn't married, they can't have a predetermined set of behaviors that are agreed upon as being faithfull or unfaithfull ? I know it doesn't make sense, but thats how I interpret your post.

the concept of fidelity apply to every couple, and it apply if the couple have a definition of fidelity that can be broken, its as simple as that. If my lover sleep with another man, and we had previously deemed sleeping with other people as an unfaithfull act, then she has been infidel. But if sex isn't that meaningfull to them, and sleeping with other people is meaningless, like it is in japanese culture, being faithfull and fidel is a cmpletly different things. So I would say it is up to the couple.

 

[Tipsy]

So your saying that if a couple isn't married, they can't have a predetermined set of behaviors that are agreed upon as being faithfull or unfaithfull ? I know it doesn't make sense, but thats how I interpret your post.

What I am saying is the concept of fidelity is between a married couple because fidelity basically means not committing adultery. And it is hard, if not impossible for a couple that isn't married to commit adultery. What I was saying is the word fidelity doesn't really fit with a couple unless they are married.

But if sex isn't that meaningfull to them, and sleeping with other people is meaningless

To me I don't see the reason for having this kind of casual sex, which to me is a meaningful show of love, but if you take out the love and the procreation, then personally I think it is wrong, coming from a Catholic view of couse, but then again, your probably not Catholic.

If my lover sleep with another man

The first time I read that I thought it said "If I sleep with another man" :loopy

 

[B~E]

What I am saying is the concept of fidelity is between a married couple because fidelity basically means not committing adultery. And it is hard, if not impossible for a couple that isn't married to commit adultery. What I was saying is the word fidelity doesn't really fit with a couple unless they are married.


To me I don't see the reason for having this kind of casual sex, which to me is a meaningful show of love, but if you take out the love and the procreation, then personally I think it is wrong, coming from a Catholic view of couse, but then again, your probably not Catholic.

While I do know that our religion is against casual, recreational sex, how can it be wrong, as long if its done between two concentual adults ?
After all, maybe this kind of sex is frown upon in the same spirit that masturbation is...

And just to close that little part about me and religion you opened : while I was christened in a catholic churche, I didn't grow up to be a practicing believer. However, as you may have noticed trough my posts, I am not agaisnt our religion, the existence of God, and I do recognise its purpose and importance in our society.

The first time I read that I thought it said "If I sleep with another man" :loopy

Still, would it be the case, it wouldn't change anything on what we're discussing here, would it ? Unless, concerning the issue being discussed here, you have double standards on homosexual couples, in which case I'd like to hear about it.

 

[Tipsy]

While I do know that our religion is against casual, recreational sex, how can it be wrong, as long if its done between two concentual adults ?
After all, maybe this kind of sex is frown upon in the same spirit that masturbation is...

And your pretty much right on this. By the standards of the church, sex is a sin when the sex is both to show true love (aka not infactuation) and for procreation. And really, I'm assuming that if you were having a casual sex type thing, your not going around with the intention of getting random women pregnant. Think of it like this. If you could not masterbate or have sex before marriage, would you be more likely to stay in that marriage because of your bodily needs? Thats not how the church says it, but its a nice little practical thing.
(Note: Just so no one bring it up. I am not saying that this view is the right one or better than yours, I am just pointing out it is the view of the Catholic church.)

Still, would it be the case, it wouldn't change anything on what we're discussing here, would it ?

Nah it wouldn't, I just laughed my ass off when I read that so I decided to put it in the post .