Monogamy!

[Galatia]

"Monogamy" is a greek word, made from the words "mono" which means "only one" and "gamo", which means "marriage" when used as a noun and "f****" when used as a verb.

So, lets discusss monogamy. Do you believe that humans are monogamous? Is monogamy a natural human characteristic or is it "forced"?

 

[Raya Wolfsun]

Ooh, a tricky one...

On the one hand, I'd think monogamy wasn't natural because it's a human-created rule: evidence for this is that not all cultures promote monogamy. Some allow polygamy ('many partners'), although it is interesting to note that while there are cultures which allow polygyny (many wives) or polyandry (many husbands), there don't seem to be any which allow both. (This is only as far as I've read though; I may be wrong.)

On the other hand... how do you explain all the negative feelings, for both sexes, if your partner is known to be with sleeping with someone else? Even in cultures where polygamy takes place, it is often courteous to keep sexual activities with other partners discrete. Some would say that this is Nature's way of promoting monogamy...

 

[bamthedoc]

I think Raya has a precious point. Why do we feel jealousy quell even where polygamy is allowed?

Personally, I believe that monogamy is natural to humans. And we see it in nature too. I beleive this is mainly in birds however. And this is from a Christian's point of view. I think GOD only created one person for you to be with, but at the same time created (or creates) a "replacement" for when your partner dies. But how does that work in Heaven? It all gets very confusing. So...that's my answer.

 

[Galatia]

Originally posted by Raya WolfSun

On the other hand... how do you explain all the negative feelings, for both sexes, if your partner is known to be with sleeping with someone else?

Negative feelings are a product of jealousy, which comes from our egos. Jealousy is all about "why him/she? Is he/she better than me?"

 

[bamthedoc]

True, but can't that be a signal that plural relationships is bad for us? Wolves don't feel it. Apes don't feel it. I could go on...but it's 4:30 in the morning...

 

[Galatia]

Originally posted by bamthedoc
True, but can't that be a signal that plural relationships is bad for us? Wolves don't feel it. Apes don't feel it.

Plural relationships can be bad for us mainly because they require a lot of time (and a lot of lies), but many would argue that jealousy is as a natural state for humans as is polygamy. I know many people who are jealous of their partners but they are the first to seek parallel relationships.

 

[Raven]

well, we all want to have sex. like it or not its the truth and fraknly their arent many people who care alot about who with or what circumstances there in. this instinct to shag is shown when people get pissed.
but because humans also can love than i dont think using animal examples is accurate. we want to stay "monogomus" because we respect our partner or if your scum, dont wnat to get in trouble.
it is our instinct to have lots and lots of sex.

 

[Galatia]

Originally posted by Raven

it is our instinct to have lots and lots of sex.

Agreed. Jealousy is also instinctive, therefore it can't be used as a reason why we should not be polygamous.

 

[bamthedoc]

And I'm a virgin at 20 because...

 

[Apherius]

The animalistic urges to procreate are instinctual and therefore nonvoluntary. It requires the voluntary and willful response to achieve monogamy. The rules of man are against nature because nature achieves balance through chaos and order, while humans intend on replacing chaos with a preset order to avoid the effects of chaos: ie revolutions, adultery, incest.

 

[Raven]

probably because u havent met the right person.

humans, unlike animals, also have will.

 

[VBadGirl]

Human are not made monogamus like wolves are. it's somehow forced. that's why u can explain why so many mariagges and even lots of couples fail. the most common reason is cheating. with that I just proved my point. to be monogamus u need to autoeducate and discipline urself. and come on..how many guys aren't turning their head after a hot chick. that's a soft primar form of cheating.

And plus how many haven't i heard about guys/girls that have 2-3 relationships going in the same time..one for movies, one for sex, and one for money and fancy restaurant( in guys version again sex)...well lots of them doing it.

ch33rs

 

[Jaden]

i think monogamy is really important..

 

[VBadGirl]

I do think that also jaden..damn males they are less monogamus then we are!.
hehehe u know what raven..if my dog doesn't want to do something i make him..he'll growl at me..that's will also. not only human have will..heheh but i get what u mean .

ch33rs

 

[bamthedoc]

Uh...wolves aren't monogamous. The Alpha male might have many pups from several diffenent female wolves in his lifetime (and the Omega gets nadda).

As for failed marriages, there are some that survive "cheating". Often there are many issues. Compadibility is one. Often, I don't know why incompadible couples get married. It doesn't make sense, and is oft doomed to fail.

 

[c9h13no3]

Women want monogamy because it keeps the guy around (which is beneficial for many reasons). Men of course can impregnate tons of women, but thier children will have better chances of "surviving" if they stay around. So obviously the two haven't evolutionarily sorted each other out yet, because men aren't one or the other. Of course our values promote monogamy more, but I think that's just cuz some little guy got pissed off when some "alpha male" was taking all the women .

Of course women want the superior genes for themselves, so thier children can survive better than others. So they promote monogamy.

There, that's what I think.

NP: Testament - First Strike is Deadly

 

[bamthedoc]

I don't know...I personally feel that monogamy is beneficial (FYI, I'm a guy). But, then agian...Christian standpoint.

I also believe a trait unique to humans exists. Paternal (not Parental, pater as in father) love. This is as unique to humans as maternal love is to mammals. Birds have a limited "parental love" that ends as soon as the chick can live on it's own. Humans are different. We love a child who is oceans away.

 

[amrtin77]

no, it is NOT natural. animals can show us what is natural. the male impregnates the female then leaves and they never see eachother again. the male just does his job and leaves the female to take care of the babies. this im sure is how humans started out until they began to develop a little passed the rest of the animals... i dont think we are much better than animals though. we ARE animals anyways...

 

[Galatia]

Originally posted by amrtin77
The male impregnates the female then leaves and they never see eachother again.

It depends on the animal, but even animals like cats, who are very well known for their "stray" sexual habits, can "fall in love". Seriously. It's rare but it happens. I've witnessed a tragic love-affair between a beautifull female Persian and a stray tom-cat. He used to come and see her every Spring. She was waiting for him when the time came, but he was too big for her size and when she got pregnant she couldnt keep her kittens. They were too big for her belly and eventually she died. Next spring, the tom-cat was back in the garden, looking for her...

 

[bamthedoc]

Sounds like "Arista-Cats" to me...

But yes, it depends on animal. Love Birds, for example. Humans are rare indeed for we have developed the ability for fathers to love their children. Motherly love was given to all mammals, however.