Funny story 'bout jacking it.

fyrebush

Member!
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
103
Reaction score
0
Website
Visit site
I went on a camping trip a few years back. I thought my GF was asleep and I was horny. But she told me not to bother her for sex anymore. I started to do my thing as easy as I could. I didnt think she was awake. Little did I know.

So there I was, off in my own little world just beating it for all I was worth. I was almost there...just a few more..then...she says.."hon, what cha doing?"

That was it. I was almost there...but she took it out of me. I said, you told me not to bother you so I wasnt. I am sorry, I didnt mean to wake you. She said I didnt, but then asked if she could watch me. I said only if you dont make a sound. She agreed.

I started up again....I was really getting into it this time..almost...almost..then..as I was ready to spew man goo all over my fist, she says...do you think of me when you do that? Took me all the way back to ground zero.

I told her to shut up and said that was rude of her to do that to me. Just when I was almost there. She said, sorry, I will be as quiet as a mouse the next time. I started again. A minute passed, and another. Recovery is always a good deal slower than progress from a clean start. I finally got close again and she said, "Doesnt it make you feel strange with me watching you?"

I said, Damn it, I dont believe it. I just cant believe it. Whats the matter with you, dont you have any sense of decency. I was just on the verge, you know that? Just on the verge.

She says she is sorry and thought I was done. Yea right. She said sorry, I wont say another word, I promise. I promise.

I said, never mind, I will just go someplace else. I got up, with my member in hand, and marched angrily away, out of the light of the fire, out of range of her voice, toward some private place in the woods where I could ne alone with my precious imaginings.

I scurried like a rabbit, barefoot along the side of the pond, one hand out to fend off the branches in the dark woods, the other to carry the load. Moving along that way, I wasnt quite out of earshot when I stubbed my toe hard on a protruding rock. I hopped on one foot, lost balance and went head over heels into the water with a loud splash. I let out a shrill cry followed by a series of sharp chirps that echoed back and forth across the valley for minutes after. I scrambled out, shook myself off and sat there, shivering in the dark---LIMP, meek and dissatisfied.

When the last echo of my scream had died away and all was quiet again, she called out to me with all the sarcasm she could muster, "Gee, I wish mine were like that!"
 

Dw-Riot

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 27, 2003
Messages
264
Reaction score
0
Location
Camden County, GA
Haha, man that is a good story. I wish it were true. It would make it 10 times better....nice one fyrebush.
 

FZ. | gOsu

Member!
Joined
May 21, 2003
Messages
566
Reaction score
0
Location
in front of computer
Website
Visit site
dude, lol....i never beat off when im in the same room as another person...

even if i think they are dead asleep...

i would so get up, and go to the bathroom or something...or just learn how to controll your urges...

funny story non-the less
 

VegetaClam

Member!
Joined
Dec 26, 2002
Messages
1,204
Reaction score
0
Website
Visit site
New years eve '03.

I thougt, I'd be getting some. I was at Mrs. Clam's house. She was being a bitch and wasn't going to put out. I got mad and Whacked off in the bathroom. I guess that's not a funny jacking off story but that's bitches for ya.

-VC
 

Zmoney

BattleForums Senior Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2002
Messages
3,120
Reaction score
1
Location
Tonawanda BAby
lol, no poon, bec he is ugly ass man, hidin in flames.

He is def. a flammer, what a bitch.

That was such a lie.
 

fyrebush

Member!
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
103
Reaction score
0
Website
Visit site
Hey ZSquared? I have a question for you. Why do you have such a thing for calling me ugly? If you were a REAL man, me being ugly would not matter to you in the least little bit. I think that YOU are the ugly one and you are trying to make yourself feel better by putting how you really feel about yourself onto someone else.

So if you feel better by callling me ugly, go right ahead. I wont lose any sleep over it.

Everytime you post...you say something about how ugly I am and how I cant get any. Little boy, let me tell you something. I have had more poo, including your mom's, than you will EVER get in you pitiful and pathetic life. Hey, guess what, you just may be my son.

'Nuff said
 

Raccoon

Post Djinn
Joined
Oct 17, 2002
Messages
1,770
Reaction score
1
Originally posted by fyrebush
Everytime you post...you say something about how ugly I am and how I cant get any. Little boy, let me tell you something. I have had more poo, including your mom's, than you will EVER get in you pitiful and pathetic life. Hey, guess what, you just may be my son.

'Nuff said
 

fyrebush

Member!
Joined
Nov 18, 2003
Messages
103
Reaction score
0
Website
Visit site
Ryan, at first when I read what YOU quoted me on, I made a change to my original post to say POON. I got to thinking that you and others may think I got more POOP. Then, I got to thinking...yea poo. Poo is short for POONTANG.
So, I reedited my post to the original. My story stands.

I have had more poo.
 

l33t bunny master

Premium Member
Joined
Oct 6, 2003
Messages
910
Reaction score
0
Location
UR-ANUS haha
good story, some girls are just to mean so you gotta do it yourself. I know how ya feel.
 

Zmoney

BattleForums Senior Member
Joined
Oct 31, 2002
Messages
3,120
Reaction score
1
Location
Tonawanda BAby
Dude, your 50, and posting about how horny u are, to teens, u bitchass oldman.

Take your lies elsewhere.
 
Top