A StarCraft Story

[Spec-XXDeathray]

StarCraft Obvious
The moring was a good one on the left overs of Tarsonis. It was an average day remaining confederate forces hid in bunker from the dominion. The Zerg roamed around killing stuff. Yep a normal day.

Then bang. A Dropship flew overhead and crashed landed on a building. 4 Marines and a Siege Tank came out 2 marines fell out dead from the blast.


A drone flew in and started to make a hive. Growing pulsing and until it burst into a hive.
The tank and the marines attacked.
Suddenly something said upgrade complete.
Magically the tank grew stablizing legs. The marines armor got thicker.
Thier bullets got bigger too.

Marine,'Now how the hell did that happen?"
Tank,"Don't question the evil two hands that type on keyboard."



A monster Ultralisk popped out of an egg the siize of a chicken. It attacked the tank and the tank blew up leaving nothing left over.
The marines takke out the Ultralisk. Its guts are on the ground but then it diappears.
The hive is then destroyed leaving organs in the ground.

Too be continued

 

[RedMage]

Thats quite an imagination you have there. If i could help any, you seem to a left out a few small words, like "the, and, to, it" maybe not those specific words, but i did see a few places where it lacked a few whaddaya call em's.... linking verbs and transitions, i believe. thats all that seemed wrong. Maybe a little word placement, where you mentioned the word Hive a few too many times in a small area.

Oh, and at the very beginning. You said it was a Good morning, then it turned to average, which sounded kind of confusing.

 

[hunter_killer]

dude, can you finish it? sounds intersting.

 

[Spec-XXDeathray]

Suddenly the oragans popped away. The creep retreated suddenly leaving no traces.

Random Marines," Strange no traces."

Suddenly a young Zealot(as in 234 years old) who had got lost burst through the perimeter a single SCv was able to make using only a cutter no evidence of it bringing matterial to build just a laser cutter.
The bunkers were detroyed and then 4 marines that were inside a bunker appeared the zealot then kiled them.'
A firebat appears eating a sandwich. He befriends the zealot. And then he asks the Zealot something the Protossian warrior wasn't ready for.
" How do you eat?"asked the Firebat.
The zealot in a confused rage attacks. The firebat roasts him alive. Then the zealot disappears in a flash of smoke. This leads ti a stranger question. Does this mean when a dragoon explodes shouldn't the protoss who was injured and encased in the dragoon should flash away in smoke too?


Just then a Battle Cruiser appears. Suddenly 5 hydralisks appear.
The Attack the battle cruiser. This leads to a wierder question. The Hydra appears in the game to be very close to the size of a hydralisk.

Is the Battle Cruiser a RC plane? If it is so huge in size as seen in cinematics shouldn't 5 hydralisk's be like flies to it?

Anway the battle cruiser falls.

TOO BE CONTINUED

 

[darewood]

pretty goood story

 

[wkdentns]

I WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER FAST~~~~~~~

 

[Zmoney]

umm yo u wana story look back for cortalos and smashbrothers pros story that kicked ass

 

[TrongaMonga]

where are those?

 

[SmashBros.Pro]

I like this story, its more of a comedy/action type thing, which is the kind of movies I like. Spec, you have a weird imagination, but I like it

 

[coRtALoS]

Oh man, we need more of these stories in the forum. I was laughing so hard at both chapters, great job man. And at least you're not spamming writing it like so many people in the Chit-Chat forums (I find the StarCraft section to be like my new sanctuary now that The Asylum is sold-out).

Anyway, please continue if you get anymore ideas. I thoroughly enjoyed that.

 

[Spec-XXDeathray]

As the Battle Crusier falls in a burst no remains are left. The terran bases are all destoryed. Strangely scrap metal doesn't seem to exist in this world.

|BRIEFING|

Duke: Our remanent forces on Tarsonis have been ereadicated by a seemingly strangely SUper-strong Zerg force.

Acturas Mengsk: hmm...We must launch an attack. Who knows what Kerrigan is planning.

*PATCH DOWNLOADED.*
Duke: It seems the zerg forces have become weaker and do not build as fast.
Mengsk: Hmm guess we attack we must stop kerrigan's plan.
*push start*

Duke: now where the hell is this start?


*Tarsonis*

A 5 Battlecruisers,80 marines,10 medics,3 siege tanks,7 goliaths, and 50 firebats land.
Duke speaks," Ah. The beautiful radioactive and mutated Tarsonis atmosphere. Such a beautiful day. Get some SCVs and make some barracks, a command center, and mine!"

The SCvs get to work and finish their jobs. The barracks start blinking and magically out of no where flesh and blood made from millions of atoms and molecules are created from nothing. This makes no sense with the law of conservation of mass and energy. But some how they can do it and create soldiers. While SCVs build more advanced buildings more 'advanced' units can be made.

This leads to another problem. There have to have been upgrades and these buildings built on other planets. Why aren't terran units issued all the same upgrades? Why can't a building on another planet let you build a unit on this planet? What is stopping you? Why must you need the building? Is commiunocation between these races within themselves so horriobly severed?

Now we switch to another area on Tarsonis.


Zeratul: DAMNIT HOW DO I UNCLOAK?!

Random Zealot: That makes me wonder. How can i see you?

Zeratul: WHY AREN'T WE TALKING IN QUOTATION MARKS?

Zealot:

 

[Spec-XXDeathray]

uhh i will finish that later sorry for the inconvienience

DAMN I CAN'T SPELL.

don't blame me I am only 11 years old

 

[Spec-XXDeathray]

Zealot: we are psychic we dont actually talk rather we think.

Zeratul: how do we eat? I could go for a pizza.



A rock falls on Zeratul.

Zeratul has been killed mission failed.

Zealot: uhh do we click play again?
Zealot 2: i dunno we are still here.
Zealot 3: i duno seems the 2 giant hands are being mean.
Zealot: i hate when this happens.
2: we are gonna have to start from the beggining again.

*the mission resets*

Zeratul: Executor we must obtain the Khalis Crystal.

Kerrigan: Why is the khalis on this planet?

Fenix: this used to be a protoss colony.

Zealot 1: screw this we don't have to listen to the game's programming and those hands.

The zealots attack and kill the protoss units and then commit suicide.

The mission resets.

Zealot 1: THIS RULES WE CAN'T DIE.

*back to the terran base*


Not enough minerals.

SCV," WTF DO MINERALS HAVE TO DO WITH METAL BUILDINGS? SOMETIMES THIS GAME IS JUST ****** UP."

Marine," Ya i know."

RESearch complete.

(the battlecruisers now have Yamato Gun).


Marine," Hey did ya know yamato was a japanese super war ship in WW II?"


TO BE CONTINUED

 

[Wing Zero]

DAmn these are good it be great if these where made in to a ums Movie map but i dont think it would be all that great then just readin this and find out what he is goin to write next. but sometimes the suspence is too much to bare o yea one more thing the useless things like the japanesse thing is kinda useless but u make it so funny o yea one more thing it bee cool if this was a book even tho there is a book but still....

Kepp On WRITING

 

[SmashBros.Pro]

Originally posted by Wing_0
DAmn these are good it be great if these where made in to a ums Movie map but i dont think it would be all that great then just readin this and find out what he is goin to write next. but sometimes the suspence is too much to bare o yea one more thing the useless things like the japanesse thing is kinda useless but u make it so funny o yea one more thing it bee cool if this was a book even tho there is a book but still....

Kepp On WRITING

Actually I tried to transform the story me and Cortalos were doing into a movie map, but I ran out of locations. The people that viewed it said it was good, but that in the story you can get a better imagination of what is happening instead of just guys running around talking and shooting, and that detailed things such as the Blue Whisp Hydra wern't that great because I couldn't make a Hydra in the water with a Zealot looking guy on its back.

Also, I don't have the map anymore (had to reformat) so don't bother asking for it. The only person I know of that might have downloaded it was something like (D-Drakon or something.

 

[Zmoney]

well i have to admit it isfunny and the asylum sux whoever is in charge u sould ban etto rap masta he is the one runing it!

 

[Spec-XXDeathray]

ps. unless you dont get it 1 new part everyday

 

[coRtALoS]

Originally posted by SmashBros.Pro
Actually I tried to transform the story me and Cortalos were doing into a movie map, but I ran out of locations. The people that viewed it said it was good, but that in the story you can get a better imagination of what is happening instead of just guys running around talking and shooting, and that detailed things such as the Blue Whisp Hydra wern't that great because I couldn't make a Hydra in the water with a Zealot looking guy on its back.

Also, I don't have the map anymore (had to reformat) so don't bother asking for it. The only person I know of that might have downloaded it was something like (D-Drakon or something.

Damn, I wish you told me you made a map based on it Smash, I really would have loved to have seen it in the making.

If you haven't seen, I've tried resuming it. It's really hard to get back into writing that and on track, but hopefully you'll pitch in when you get rolling again

Keep going Spec-XXDeathray. You write well and keep this 19 year old laughing

 

[Renzokuken]

Heh. I've read three words and all the replies to your story. I guess i'll have to follow suit. Well done, new and innovative starcraft storys are always good.

 

[Zmoney]

its funny because its like why in the world are the sc players following the biig ass hands commands it was a good idea