300 pwnage! Exclusive review from Athens!

[Vadriel]

Explain Moulin Rouge, one of the only movies I ever just walked away from. Explain American Beauty. Explain Chicago. Explain ****ing Napoleon Dynamite.

Critics are paid to endorse movies. Usually they get paid the most to give good opinions of shitty movies.

And Jenny's viewpoint is invalidated due to her support of Zodiac. Every one of the "shocking and visionary glimpses into the real-world horror crisis of the century" that is another ****ING Zodiac movie...is shit. Boring, slow, shot poorly, and generally speaking...crap.

My favorite movies of all time are the ones that are so ****ing amazing, nobody can ignore it. Naturally critics are going to like them. All I'm saying is that the few movies I have truly and genuinely hated, the critics absolutely LOVED. As well, there are some movies I really liked that critics essentially said were garbage.

 

[Emperor Pan I]

First off, no. American Beauty was an amazing movie. It is the same vein as Fight club, Boogie Nights and the Ice Storm as an examination of the American culture from 1970s-present.

Oh god Ghost rider? Are you ****ing kidding me? The entire movie could have been played with planks of wood with mean faces drawn on them. Hell the boards probably would have acted better than Cage, Mendez and Fonda. Jesus Christ man, that movie was almost painful to finish.

I understand if you don't want to think during a movie, and explosions and such can hold you over, thats fine, but don't try and justify your own dissatisfaction with great cinema because you don't clearly see motion pictures as an artform.

"Your penance stare doesn't work on me"

 

[Vadriel]

"Great Cinema" = boring, but by golly you BETTER like it or else you're shallow and can't appreciate art.

I like effects. I like things that are cool. To me there's more "art" in strategic angles and godly CG effects than there is to demonstrating some deep inner condition of man or something.

And no, Ghost Rider wasn't filled with amazing acting and some revolutionizing outlook on the self, but it had some ****ing cool effects. Don't expect every movie to redefine film as a whole, or else you'll be disappointed by everything.

 

[Emperor Pan I]

Like I said, it's to much to think during a movie, so any movie which requires you to fire some electrical impulses through your brain, other than to say "oh flashy" during a movie, is no good.

Don't expect every movie to have really bad actors and a shallow plot with budget left over for lots of explosions, or else you will be disappointed.

 

[Vadriel]

Right. You know exactly what I'm talking about.

I like to admire the effects you ****ing idiot. As in, gaze at the CG things that it took somebody months to do?

And yes, I like plot. But, I watch movies to relax. I don't take them seriously. Movies are a nice, chilling break from life. I *watch* them. I don't search for their deep inner meanings and shit. Besides, I know the formulas for movies so that "sudden twists" and "secrets revealed" don't surprise me. I figure out the endings to movies most of the time before they happen, so there's no magic in it for me. Sometimes it's cool to see the way things unfold even though you knew how it was going to end, like in The Illusionist.

But I don't watch movies to make myself feel cultured or intelligent. I watch them because it's fun. People who take movies too seriously are people who take themselves too seriously, and I personally think they should be round up and shot.

 

[Galatia]

Point taken, mr. Vadriel. You prefer the movies that don't make you think

 

[please help me :(]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_al-Qādisiyyah
30000 muslims vs 120,000+ persians

persians were noobs.they always get owned by small armies.

 

[Emperor Pan I]

So do the french

 

[Vadriel]

Point taken, mr. Vadriel. You prefer the movies that don't make you think

Obviously you're not thinking right now, ms. Galatia. Movies don't make me think. There are few surprises for me in movies. About the last thing that actually surprised me was the ending of Saw 1. That was probably the most "impacting" a movie has been on me in years.

I watch sci-fi, fantasy, and supernatural horror movies because the critters in them inspire some of the subjects of my various drawing and sketches.

I watch comedies for obvious reasons.

I watch action movies because I like watching the combat scenes. A well-choreographed fight scene is absolutely enchanting. Tony Jaa and Jet Li ftw. Jason Statham isn't bad either, but in a different way.

I don't usually watch mysteries, because they're not difficult to figure out, and I spend the last hour of the movie calling out things before they happen.

I don't usually watch dramas, because they're slow and they try too hard.

I rarely watch war movies, because they're all the same.

I rarely watch "based on a true story" movies, because they're either about some inspirational football team or some lonely nerd with glasses in his parent's basement who decided to go on a killing spree.

I refuse to watch musicals. I just can't take it. Singing makes me very uncomfortable.

What did I miss?

 

[CelestialBadger]

Start watching foreign films and stop sucking.

 

[Wing Zero]

o common man the producers was good

 

[Vadriel]

Start watching foreign films and stop sucking.

I saw a foreign film once. It was so bad it was awesome.

Thriller: They Call Her One-Eye.

German movie, dubbed in English. Absolute garbage to the point of being insanely cool.

 

[Static]

Oh god Ghost rider? Are you ****ing kidding me? The entire movie could have been played with planks of wood with mean faces drawn on them. Hell the boards probably would have acted better than Cage, Mendez and Fonda. Jesus Christ man, that movie was almost painful to finish.

Really? Cage wasn't too good in that movie? He is usually a good actor. Face off is my personal favorite.

 

[Vadriel]

I've got a bit of a grudge against Nicholas Cage. I liked Face/Off, but most of his other stuff pisses me off.

 

[CelestialBadger]

He was really good in Lord Of War.