Jokes!!!!!!!

[N[U]TS]

ok here is a joke for you i will have more later as well


"Employee" Im sorry but I cant come in today. My doctor says I suffer from Anal Glaucoma

"Boss" Anal Glaucoma? What's that?

EmPloyee- I just cant see my A$$ coming to work !!!!


lmao

 

[DigitalElite]

Real Mature

 

[SpiritSkater]

ok ok this ones not the greatest but it cracks me up for some reason, not really a joke but more of a diss.

Yo mommas so fat she puts mayonase (spelling?) on her tylonal.

hahahaha ah yes thats great

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

uhh ok... heres one
What does Micheal Jackson have in common with Mcdonalds They both stick meat between two 5year old Buns

 

[Forbidden~Paradise]

Heres a classic..... have you heard about the giant who threw up.........its all over town.....

 

[munchyman]

Heres one....(create a special flame muchy thread in the asylum if youve heard this one)


So a guy dies and goes to hell. Now, hes pretty bummed out, seeing as how hes in hell and all, and the devil sees this, so he walks over and starts talking to the guy:

Devil-Hey man, why are you looking so down? Hell's not that bad a place really, hey, you like drinking?

Guy- Yeah....i guess so...

Devil- Great! Monday's our drinking day!

Guy- wow.....thats pretty cool

Devil- You like drugs?

Guy- Yeah, i like drugs...

Devil_ well, you're in luck! Tuesdays we just hang around and do drugs all day!

Guy- Wow! This is sounding better and better!

Devil- You like Guns?

Guy- Hell yeah!

Devil- Awesome! Wednesday we just hang around and shoot at stuff all day!

Guy- Alright!! This is awesome!

Devil- You like lookin at porno?

Guy- DO I!!! wow!!

Devil- yup, thursday's our porno day!!!

Guy- Damn i think im gonna like it here!

Devil- Thats fuking right !!! Hey, you gay?

Guy- No.

Devil- Oh.........shit.......you're gonna hate fridays then....

 

[Glowy]

lol.....my fav joke is still


Wanna see me do a impression of elton john??


































HE'S QUEER!






















thats the impression i get :rollie

 

[N[U]TS]

Originally posted by FishDynasty2k3
Real Mature

Ill take that as a compliment:lucifer

 

[-MatriX-]

[COLOR=33DD33]Ok I got 3 things, I bet you some of you have heard them before.

1. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definantly is not for you.

2. The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

3. He (she too) who laughs last thinks the slowest.[/COLOR]

[COLOR=004400]-[/COLOR][COLOR=006600]M[/COLOR][COLOR=008800]a[/COLOR][COLOR=00AA00]tr[/COLOR][COLOR=00CC00]i[/COLOR][COLOR=00EE00]x[/COLOR][COLOR=00FF00]-[/COLOR]​

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

nope neva heard any of those
900 posts

 

[munchyman]

Q: Why did Michael Jackson go to Wal Mart?
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A: Cuz he heard boy's pants were half off.....

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

lol thats a good one haha

 

[Terran_Commander]

Okay listen to this one

The boss of two telephone pole planting teams walks out to see how well his men are doing. The first team tells him that they've got 15 done. He tells them good job, then he walks over to the second team and asks them how many they've got done. They tell him four... He then says," what's with you!? They've got 15 done and you've only got 4!" The team then says," yeah but look at how much they're leaving out of the ground!"

 

[N[U]TS]

blone joke......

Football analysis by a blonde
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>A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl. They had great
seats
>right behind their team's bench... After the game, he asked her how
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>She liked the experience.
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>"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and
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>All the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were
killing
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>each other over 25 cents."
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>Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
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>"Well, I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the
rest
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>of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get
the
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>Quarterback!" Hel-LLLO! It's only 25 cents! I hate to think what
they'd do
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>if it was a whole DOLLAR!!!!
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>Have a nice day!!

 

[Forbidden~Paradise]

What did the mother say to Michael Jackson when she saw him at the beach....




Get out of my son!

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

lol haha all these micheal jackson ones

 

[Qwerty_99]

A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.'' The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.'' The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!'' The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''

 

[AzNsUpA-Boi]

dood thats in my name... here ones

one day there is a husband and a wife... the husband is sleeping and the wife is knitting... so the preist guy asks who created earth... and the wife accidently poked his husband with a needle... so he screams out "GOD" and the preist says correct... then he asks who is god's son??? and the wife pokes him again... and the man shouts out "JESUS" and then the preist says correct again... and then he asks "what did eve say to adam when she wanted to stop having sex...? then the wife pokes him again... and the man says "IF YOU POKE ME WITH THAT THING ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA RIP IT OFF..." and the preist says CORRECT!!!!!!