Official jokes thread! Bring your best jokes!!!

[Cobalt Wolf]

*shrugs* I just took it as an opportunity to make a really long post.
But unfortunately, you can only do 1k words max. Bah.​

 

[flashflores2]

you speak the truth

 

[Cobalt Wolf]

hehe ​

 

[Renzokuken]

Well done. Cobalt Wolf!

 

[Cobalt Wolf]

*takes a bow* Thank you, thank you ​

 

[Comin2TakeUAway]

A lonely country wanted a name so they put a bunch of letters in a hat and had the leader draw the letters to spell out the name of there new country. He reaches in and,
"A, its a 'C' a." He reaches in again,
"Ooo, its an 'N' a." Then he reaches in one more time,
"Nowd here we'd go, its a 'D' a."
And thus we get Canada

 

[Cobalt Wolf]

a, c, a, Ooo, n, d, a

I don't get it

*feels stupid* Explain please?
I like to know what I'm missing out on.​

 

[Cobalt Wolf]

Your mum's teeth are so black, she spits chocolate milk.

-- Heard it off In Living Colour​

 

[lilbabygurl]

Okie okie yo mama jokes

1. yo mommas soo ugly that when burglars broke in she yelled "rape " ans they yelled hel l noo!!!
2. your mommas soo hairy shes got afros on her nipples
3.your mommas so fat last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
4. wat do u call 4 blondes in a freezer??? ..... frosted flakes
5. wat do u call 2 blondes side by side.... a wind tunnel

 

[Bjornita]

i thought the canada joke was supposed to be

"C, eh?"

"N, eh?"

"D, eh?"

it's supposed to be making fun of the "eh" that canadians are "supposed" to say after every sentence. i haven't met one that has, though...

 

[Emperor Pan I]

Originally posted by |B|j|o|r|n|i|t|a|
i thought the canada joke was supposed to be

"C, eh?"

"N, eh?"

"D, eh?"

it's supposed to be making fun of the "eh" that canadians are "supposed" to say after every sentence. i haven't met one that has, though...

Well you never met me... Believe me i say eh alot. it's so much easy to put that in a sentance.

 

[Emperor Pan I]

Originally posted by lilbabygurl
Okie okie yo mama jokes

1. yo mommas soo ugly that when burglars broke in she yelled "rape " ans they yelled hel l noo!!!
2. your mommas soo hairy shes got afros on her nipples
3.your mommas so fat last time she saw 90210 was on the scale
4. wat do u call 4 blondes in a freezer??? ..... frosted flakes
5. wat do u call 2 blondes side by side.... a wind tunnel

Your moms like a vaccum, she sucks, blows and gets laid in the closet.

 

[Bjornita]

well, eh said like "eh, i don't really care" or eh said like "they think i'm slow, eh?"

 

[H3LL-FyR3]

a blonde is broke and needs some money so she decides to kidnap somebody, so she goes to the school playground and grabs a kid and says, youve been kidnapped, she writes a note saying, ive kidnapped your son, if you want him back fill a bag with $10,000 and put it under the oak tree next to the school playground and signed it as, A Blonde, she pinned the note to the kids shirt and sent him home, the next day she checked under the tree and there wuz a brown paper bag, she checked it and it had all 10 grand, then she saw a not on it, it read, How could you do this to a fellow blonde?!!?



a blonde is down on her luck and is about to get her car reposesed, so she decideds to prey to god to try to win the lotto, so that night before she went to bed she got on her knees and preys, deer god, please let me win the lottery, i have no money and im about to lose my car, then she got up and went to bed, the next day she checked the news and found out she didnt win, and the next day they toed her car, a week later she found out she was going to lose her house, so she decided to try preying to god again, so that night befor she went to bed she preys, please god i have no money, they toed my car last week and now they are going to take my house, please let me win the lottery, she went to bed and the next day she checked the news again and she realized she didnt win, she became furious and started screeming, WHY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FOSAKEN ME, IVE ALWAYS BEEN GOOD, WENT TO CHURCH, I ASKED YOU FOR HEP AND YOU Æ’UCKED ME!!!!, then she heard a deep voice,Please Brandi, work with me heer, buy a Æ’uckin tickit

 

[H3LL-FyR3]

Your momma is so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she is backing up
Your momma is so ugly she uses a line of makeup called, Why Æ’ucking bother
Your momma is so hairy it looks like she has buckwheat ina headlock
Your momma is so short you can see her feet in her drivers license
Your momma is so old her birth certificate says expired
Your momma is so old she sat behind jesus in the 3rd grade
Your momma is so old she waited tables at the last supper
Your momma is so ugly she scares shrek
Your momma's glasses are so thick when she looks at a map she can see people leaving

Why do blondes wear pantys? They make good ankle warmers
How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool
How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror on the bottom of a swimming pool
How do blondes have safe sex? They lock the car door
How do blondes turn on the light after sex? The open the car door
How many blondes does it take to suck a dick? 2, they take turns


ok im about out, but befor i get in trouble can i post raciest jokes?

 

[coleabo]

where does a snow man go too dance??? .......... a snowball
what do you take off before you go to bed/?? ........ your feet off the floor/

 

[Cobalt Wolf]

Cute, Coleabo ​

 

[Whaturmuva]

lol these are funny as shit

 

[Wing Zero]

ur dad is so old when he put a turtal neack on he lookes like a broken condom
ur dad is so old he has to put is dick in the freezer to get it hard

 

[CerebralChain]

Today a boy jumped off a cliff, but it doesn't matter, 'cus his father has a candy store.