D2 fanfic: bring on the tissues...

Discussion in 'Artistic Expressions' started by Raya Wolfsun, Jun 21, 2003.

  1. Raya Wolfsun

    Raya Wolfsun Addicted to Mentats

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    I've been reading WAY too much Greek tragedy lately. Oh well...

    ********
    There was something touching about the way she clung to his side: she always had potions ready to tend his wounds, or in battle, a cold spell to slow the enemy hordes so he could leap in to make the kill. And she was ever patient with him; never expected him to acknowledge her frost novae or static fields, or the demons she stunned telekinetically as they were just about to deal the fatal strike.

    But that didn’t mean he didn’t hurt her.

    There is one day I remember… we were wandering in search of the Horadric Cube, and the sun beat us down with heavy fists of heat. Still, he ran fast ahead of us, and she had a hard time keeping him in sight. But she never complained. First she teleported after him, but this sapped her mana, and she soon ran out of potions to counter it… yet she kept running, because he kept running, until her stamina was totally drained and she collapsed in the desert heat.

    Going back for her, my first thought was to just to toss a potion and expect her to get on with it. But when I saw her curled up in the sand, crying bitterly, I took her into my arms. She sobbed into my chest, and as I stroked her hair I felt infinitely sorry for her.

    I was taken from my family when I was seven.
    They told me it was an honour, but I couldn’t see it like that.


    The poor girl was barely seventeen – Saphi, child prodigy of the Zann Esu – and she should not have been with us, but how could we leave her behind? Her battle-magic was amazing to behold, easily a match for my sword or his twin axes, and times were desperate; we needed her. But Zulyan of Harrogath and I – we had something to fight for. We had homes to protect, loved ones to return to. She had been born to fight this battle, and once it was over, what good were her talents then?

    I have no other use in the world but this…

    And then, she had met Zulyan, and it all changed. She was in love with him, but he ignored her, was gruff with her, and the less attention he paid her the harder she tried. I began to wonder: did she even understand what was going on? or were Zann Esu girls kept too carefully isolated in their ivory towers, far away from things that would mar their training – like male companionship? I tried to speak with Zulyan about it, but he shrugged it off – it is only a maiden’s infatuation; it soon will subside.

    The year we defeated Baal was my fifty-eighth summer, Zulyan’s thirty-fourth, and Saphi’s last…

    The enemy called down on us a curse, that the expenditure of mana would now do mortal damage. I cast a portal to Harrogath, that the young sorceress might have the curse removed – it was most dangerous to her – and she began to head that way. But then, he cried out in anguish – Surrounded! – and immediately she teleported to his side, casting a frenzy of frost and electric novae, blizzards and thunderstorms. As he hacked at the frozen foes which remained, he did not notice her fall…

    “She is fallen!â€

    He found me, with tears in my eyes, as I lifted her pale body from the pile of enemies and ice shards. He knelt across from me, brushed the hair tenderly from her face. Her skin was still warm, and he kissed her forehead.

    “You were foolish to love me.â€

    She didn’t understand her feelings and didn’t know how to come to terms with them; he didn’t know her situation and why it put her at such risk; and I – who did understand, and anticipated that something like this would happen – still had not known what to do about it.

    So forget about Hatred, Terror, Destruction;
    the greatest evil, I contend, is Ignorance.

    ~ Matriarch Carya, Paladin of Zakarum
     
  2. bamthedoc

    bamthedoc King Endymion

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    Yeah...you're right about too much Greek tragedy...lay off it for a while...

    This reminds me off...oh, what was the name of that story? In any case, good if not...overly tramatic. I'd actually give a "comment" if I knew what to say beyond that...

    Baka, I'm not being incensitive or mean; I just don't know how to respond to the story too well. It was good..., but it didn't exactly...well, let's just say the most foreshadowing you had was in your preface (and that blood mana thing). I like it for a tragedy though.
     
  3. Raya Wolfsun

    Raya Wolfsun Addicted to Mentats

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    Yes, it *is* melodramatic. But then again, isn't that D2 anyway? What to say for a game where you're single-handedly battling the Prime Evils? As in Greek tragedy, we're dealing with grandiose themes...

    No, I'm not trying to be suspenseful; it's just Carya expressing her feelings. The incident with Saphi touched her deeply, and she explains why - simple.
     
  4. bamthedoc

    bamthedoc King Endymion

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    Ah, me sees!

    ^Not spam! I repeat! Not spam!

    It does have drive to it though. But...to tell the truth...I was expecting it to be longer...I don't know why. I like your motivational force, however. That's another good aspect. I'll get Akules...or is it Kaldaris'...rules for "judging" and do it properly.



    Story 8/10
    Originality 7/10
    Style 9/10
    Structured 8/10
    Spelling/Grammer Can't remember for the life of me...guessing I'd say 9/10
    Overall 8.5 or 8.75 (I don't care, make higher if you want)