Louis’ Out-of-Towner

Discussion in 'Artistic Expressions' started by DeadLocked, Jun 10, 2003.

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  1. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, Unexpected Arrival¤ ¤Part 1¤

    ¤The sun lays low in the sky. Only the upper most tip of the rounded globe can be seen. It sends a cascading shadow over the town. The Los Angeles city seems to slow during the waning hours of the day. Louis like most other kindred took shelter in a haven, to protect themselves from the harsh effects of the light. Unlike most though, Louis had an unnaturally low tolerance for light. He favored shades, against harsh lights. The yellow tinted shades that always seemed to be glued to his face, were a gift from a pal. Marcus was in the business of shades. He ran a small shop back in Paris, the shades where good quality, they even had a lifetime guarantee. He knew the owner well enough, a friend of a friend. How well could you ever really get to know kine?

    A barely audible moan slips through Louis’ lips. He lays flat on his back, his eyes only open slit wide. He stares through a haze. His eyes are blurry from his daytime slumber. He enjoyed the rest, even in his mortal life. He rolls over trying to position himself so that the cheap ass coil springs of the bed stop stabbing into his back. He groans again, as he lets out a heavy sigh. He rolls back and forth, as the frustration of the uncomfortable bed begins to become intolerable. Rolling closer to the edge of the bed, he fully opens his eyes. His hands rake up over his eyes and back through his hair. His feet touch the cool wooden floor, as they swing over the edge of the bed. The soft padding of skin on wood is heard as he stands up. The night was already becoming cooler. You could feel the daytime heat in the air though. The moisture stuck to his skin. It made him feel dirty, and unclean. He was vain, he liked looking good, most of the time.

    The loud creek screams from the glass shower door, as it opens, the sound sends a shutter up Louis’ spine. He gaze fixes to it instantly, a cool glare on it, he despised annoying repetitive items. He stood drip drying, wondering when; he’s really going to get that fixed. He’d been thinking about it for weeks. It was getting rather annoying. He liked being cleanly so he took a shower regularly. With each shower came that annoying sound. Since the first day he took a shower here, he had known about the annoying noise, and had planned on fixing it. The annoyance had built up, to where Louis felt like smashing the door at times. It was worse than nails on a chalkboard. He was a pessimist when it came to small things, you could count on him for matters of life and death, usually. ¤
     
  2. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, Unexpected Arrival ¤ ¤Continued Part 2¤

    ¤He pads his way into the main room. It was dimly lit. Only the small lamp, with the crooked broken shade, was illuminating the run down apartment. Though, the apartment was lacking in many of the finer things, Louis liked it anyway. His light blue deep-set eyes, narrow on every article of clothing he had. His right hand slides them along the small metal rod, as they hang on a hanger. He finds a light shirt, that’s sturdy. He wasn’t quite sure what this weekend would take him to. He grabs a pair of black jeans from his drawer. As he slips them up over his legs, he hears a sound. It was more of a sound though. Stumbling to his dresser, he falls over, but manages to grab the CZ-75 pistol resting there. He lands on the wooden floor, a clutter of junk slides to the side. The impacted was soft, but it could be heard. Depending on who was in the hall, he could be in trouble. He lays their, his hand clenched around the gun. His finger fluttering slightly as it tenses waiting for the shot. He’d more than likely just blow, whoever’s knocking on the door away. No one knew he lived here, or should care that he did.

    Louis looks through hid one opened eye, the other closed to make it easier to aim. His vision lined perfectly up with the sight of the CZ-75 semi-auto pistol. His mouth slides open, the dried skin on his lips sticks together as he speaks, “Who the ****’s there?†Sliding his hand up to the bed. He drags himself up. The barrel of the gun trained on the door. His hears pick up a quiet knock on the door and a set of muffle words, “Is Carrie there?†He instantly recognizes the voice as a young women’s. The name was familiar, his mind works on that subject, and his hand immediately lowers to his side slightly. Louis felt mortal women as less of a threat. He could feel and hear her heart beat. It was a quiet building and this woman seemed to have an out of the ordinary heartbeat. Louis assumed she was running from trouble.

    “Step back from the door.†He commands. Louis’ pale white hand wraps around the cold doorknob. The door opens with a small squeak. His eyes scan over the young women, she seemed distraught and weary. Louis could easily notice a bead of sweat across the young girls forehead. “I assume you skipped out on your pimp.†Even before the words flow from his mouth, a cool grin crosses his face. He was a pimp, he knew this look, the little whore had probably gotten a nice chunk of dough, and now she wants it all. She was going to leave her pimp out of the cut. Pimps gave prostitutes protection and an area to work. They deserved their own cut. Noticing the young women, quiver to his words he smiles. “Well, What do you want?â€

    The women looks up, her eyes never really meeting Louis’ eyes as she speaks. “I was looking for a friend. Her names Carrie.â€

    The name as she spoke it sparked a thought in his head. *Ahh, Carrie the bitch, That Russian killed.* He thinks for a moment before replying. “Yes, I know her, She’s one of my whores.â€

    The word -whore- seemed to send visibly shudders up her body. “So, Who the **** are you?†Louis demands.

    He watches as her lip quivers. She manages to blurt out, “Susan.â€

    “Well, Susan, Who’s your pimp?â€

    Her eyes dart away from him. Her thin jaw line locks up. He knew she wouldn’t speak to him. Most of my whore’s wouldn’t willingly give me up. They’d rather go to jail before I get in trouble, from the law or any other source. He smiled as he steps away from the door. His right hand sweeps in a broad gesture. “Come in†It wasn’t meant as a suggestion it was a demand. Louis’ voice when he wanted something was cold and uninviting. He bet she knew realized it. Her movements were quick. She almost reacted before he finished. He closed the door behind them both.¤
    ¤
     
  3. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, Unexpected Arrival¤ ¤Continued Part 3¤

    ¤He leans back on the door as the soft click passes through the room. He could see her scooping out his place. He knew it was menial for what he needed. He should have better, but he didn’t care. “So whore? This place not good enough for the like of you?†She spins on heel to look back at him. Her worried look is painted across her. “Oh..†her voice falters “No, its great.†She gives him a weak smile before trying to change the subject. “So where’s Carrie?â€

    He smiles, his mind slides back to the business deal he had with Russian. He supplied whores to Russian occasionally for a feeding. He of course gave him the ones he wanted gone, or the ones that were to independent. Carrie was one of those cases; She was too nosey for her own business. Which fit perfectly, at the time, Louis needed a place to stay. He sure as hell got it.

    “’Carrie doesn’t live here anymore.†His words seemed to burst a bubble in Susan. He looked her over and noticed the busted lip., the shaky hands. She looked like the average whore.

    “I could take you to her, if you like.†Louis thought moreover of having a road snack. He had to leave town tonight to get fitted for his costume for the dark carnival.

    She looked him over. Louis assumed she was wondering why he would help her. She manages to say, “I’m not one of your whores, and I will never be.†Louis laughed, the movement making his shades slide down his face. “Of course not†He headed toward the door. Stopping at the door long enough to take hold of the doorknob. “If you want to see her, I’m leaving now†He closes the door behind him, before heading down the hall, towards the stairs.

    Reaching the bottom of the stairs he can hear someone come down the steps. Louis assumed it was the young whore. He heads outside and begins to look for a car. He wanted a car with keys.

    Walking along the parked cars. Every time Louis sees a car he fancies he leans down and peers into the cars. He notices what kind of shape its in. What was in it and such, he wondered If they looked un kept and disorganized, possibly they left the keys somewhere in the car. The kine thought it was easier for them to keep the keys in the car.

    Looking into the window of a beat up looking 1985 Alfa Romeo GTV-6. He smirked as he looked at the rust along the window. He looks into the car and to his surprise sees the keys in the ignition. He laughs as he pops open the car door and gets in. Turning the ignition he pulls out of the parking spot and heads back toward his place. ¤
     
  4. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, Leaving¤ ¤Continued pt. 4¤

    ¤ Louis slows the car as he reaches the front of his apartment building. Pulling the car closer to the curb, his eyes move from straight forward to the sidewalk. The car halts as he looks around for the whore. Leaning over he pops open the passenger door. It swings open and nicks the red pinto parked along the curb. He smirks his mind trying to recall whose car that was. He shrugged as his vision catches Susan; step out from the apartment building. The console presses into his rips as he leans over and yells, “Let’s ****ing go already.†He smirks as his foot reaves up the motor. Louis was sure this could get him where he wanted to go. He had an extended trip planned. He was late on at least a 9 hour-long drive. He wanted to get close to the city of Las Vegas. There was always the twang in the back of his mind reminding him of the sun and its danger.

    He gauges he had about 10 hours of the night left. He felt like he was cutting it close. He took the risk; he wasn’t expecting the interruption the young whore brought about. He would use her for a good meal on the go. He smirked the hunger rising up within him. He wasn’t far enough on his trip, so he controlled his urges, to park the car. Using some excuse, and then lean over and tear open her jugular with his canine incisors. His smile widened, as his eyes turn back from the daydream, to the interstate 40. He wondered exactly when Susan would begin to wonder when something was up.

    Susan’s head rests against the cool glass of the door. She watches the road; every so often her glance turns to Louis. She wondered why Carrie had moved so far from the city. They must have been driving for a good time. Louis gave her a weird vibe. He seemed like a decent guy one minute, yet seconds later he could be a prick. She glances at him his eyes were on the road driving, either he didn’t notice her on him, or he didn’t care. She assumed he didn’t care; he was a pimp and had plenty of whores. Her eyes divert back out at the side of the road as it zooms by. Her eyes were unable to catch anything just a long blurred line. ¤
     
  5. *cough*edit button*cough*
     
  6. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, The Trip-Robbery ¤ ¤Continued pt. 5¤

    ¤ It only takes another hour or so of driving when Susan, begins to get worried. She softly utters, “So, where we headed?†Louis laughs instantly realizing the time had come. He smiles over toward the young lady, “Well, I’m headed toward Las Vegas†his eyes scan her over, “I have a feeling –where- your going.†The thought of feeding make he smiles. He liked ****ing with people, it made him laugh, how pathetic some kine could be. His smile widens until his canines are easily viewed. His eyes are on the road; this small white family car catches his view, Susan’s scream echoes through the door. His hand instinctively locks the doors, before he looks her way. “What?†*Grins wider exposing more of his fangs*, “What’s wrong with you?†She fumbles with her words, her mouth begins to speak but cant form what she wants. She fails to reply and softly sobs into her hands.

    Louis sighs deeply; he didn’t like such weak women. He wondered who her pimp was. Susan’s pimp must have been an abuser; Susan has the willpower of a tomato. He laughs at the thought before looking over to her. His eyes look her over before he speaks. “Oh come now, stop crying, I intend to kill you, so you might as well life what’s left of your life in dignity†She looked up through reddened eyes. Louis gives her a fake smile. She seems to be able to pull something together she manages to collect herself. Her small hands had begun to absently clutch at something under her shirt. Louis was a bit surprised at the sudden change of the women. Nevertheless, he knew he would kill her.

    The breaks on the car squeal as he turns off an exit, Louis was looking for a small mom and pop gas station. Louis had no money, nor did he care. He had his two guns, he’d just ob the place. He smirked as he noticed a gas station called “Frog Eye’s†he smirked at the ridiculous name. It would suit his purpose. Louis wondered why a small gas station would be open at such a late hour. He didn’t care though maybe they are being innovative. Pulling up to pump one looks over to Susan, the screeching from the break, and the stopped rhythm of the care moving, seemed to have woken her up. “Stay here, and start the car as soon as I open finish pumping the gas.†He gets out of the car without giving her a chance to reply. He fills the ****ing tank, as it clicks off he pulls the hose out. Putting on the gas cap, he snaps the lock on the hose turning it on. Dropping the spraying gas nozzle on the floor he smiles. Louis heads toward the small stations building ¤
     
  7. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, The Trip-Robbery ¤ ¤Continued pt. 6¤

    ¤ The bright lights of the gas station make his eyes squint a bit. He frowns his shades not working the best, since they’re hanging half way down his nose. He notices a Chinese cashier, it was a punk looking man, and he was frowning at Louis. The man was short, like any Chinese, he had dark hair, t hose squinty eyes that made you wondered what he was focusing on, he had a long crooked nose. Louis almost laughed at the comical features. Using his middle finger, Louis slides his shades back up covering his eyes.

    Louis begins to walk up and down the isles. He wanted to let a nice pool of gasoline form outside. He notices a few things that look eatable. He grabs some chips, cookies, a couple subs, some soda, a 12 pack and 2 packs of cigs and a lighter. He smirks as the man totals it up. Taking the pack of cigarettes, he opens them and begins to tap them against his hand. Popping a packs Marlboro into his lip. He grabs a lighter, in the shape of a set of tits from the shelf. He smirks at the images, and got a faint mental image of the last person he ****ed. Snapping back to reality as the flame ignites out of the nipple, he leans into it and lights the cigarette. He hears the total of $36.25. Louis puffs on the cig and blows a rolling cloud of smoke into the chiq’s face. He can see the ripple of anger spread over him. Grabbing his thing he turns to leave. Just as he reaches the door, he hears the click of metal on metal. It was a turn action rifle lever on the inside mechanics. He smirks as a bullet slaps into the door jam. Exiting the door, he sees the 3-4 inches of gasoline on the walkway. Stepping into it he heads to the car. Shots are fired from the inside of the club to the outside. Getting into the club he tosses the bags to Susan, they land with a heavy thud, she begins to mutter some shit about gas and fire, and what the hell was he doing. His eyes glance to the door as the man comes out it, his gun rising to the door. Louis shifts into D and heads out, his hand clenching around the cig, just as a shot shatters the side mirror on the passenger side. Flicking the cig out the window it catches the pool of gasoline. The fire instantly spreads. He pulls out to the main road, and heads back to the highway. A loud explosion rubbles the area and lights up the sky. He smirks as he hears Susan scream. “There you got some food, the beers are mine, eat up, I might need to feed from you for more than a day†he wasn’t sure how long this would take, and he didn’t want to have to hunt. Louis continues driving down the road knowing the fire will take care of most of the evidence. Louis checks the next few road signs taking note of how long it would take to get to Las Vegas. ¤
     
  8. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, The Trip ¤ ¤Continued pt. 7¤

    ¤ They drove for a for a half hour, maybe less, when Susan gets the guts to ask what she’s been wondering since she noticed Louis’ fangs. “Are you a vampire?†Her voice cracks at the word vampire; you could tell s he wasn’t fully herself. The shock of seeing what he was had ruffled her mentally. Louis’ eyes look over the expanse of road ahead, it was a straight shot until the well past the town of Halloran Springs. Knowing he could look at her and just drive straight without careening off the road he does. As his eyes meet her eyes, he notices her flinch away. This small action sends a smile over his lips. Louis liked controlling others. He had his methods, they were more subtle that others ways, but they worked. “Yes, but not in the sense you mean.†He glances at the road. He decided to let her know a lil about his kind. In his mind he thought of all the times in popular movies, where the villains ratchet jaws until the hero can defeat his evil plan. He could almost picture it. He laughs softly unheard by her. “I am no Dracula, nor am I anything like what’s in the movies. My kind are real, we prowl the streets. Do not be fooled, most vampire myths are fake.†He reached over and roughly opens her hand. He takes the small cross from it and snaps the metal chain off her neck. “This wont save you†he smiles. Louis had noticed her holding it before, and had instantly guessed what it was. Rolling the chain in his fingers he decided he’d give her the option of when to die.

    He turns on the overhead light as he looks over to the young women. They had hit a patch of the road where little light was around. He smirks noticing her aimlessly glancing off into the night. “So, I’m getting hungry.†He states, he wanted to see how she reacted to the mention of her death. His eyes focus back on her from his partial look up at the road. Her eyes were pinned on him. Unwavering and cold, she seemed to know she would die. His smile falters and then grows. He had for a second an image from his past, a memory of a young girl from his old town. He pushes the thoughts out before focusing back on is tasks. The hunger had begun to grow within him. They were within an hour of Los Vegas. ¤
     
  9. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, The Arrival ¤ ¤Continued pt. 8¤

    ¤ He smiles seeing a sign stating “3 miles to Exit 4b†he smirked, his eyes trailing to the horizon. Soon, within the next hour, the sun would come shooting up over the end of the earth. He frowned at the idea. Louis didn’t want to be caught out dead in the day. The pun lightened his mood a bit, a soft chuckle crossing his lips. He glances to the young lady who seems to be passed out against the window. He wondered how she could sleep, with knowing her death would come upon their arrival at Las Vegas. Louis had planned on killing her as soon as he gets safe from the daylight. He was cutting this close. Susan’s arrival was unexpected, but it kept Louis from having to hunt in an unfamiliar city.
    He was now in the city and better yet, in the general area of where Williams Costume Co. was. He begins taking random streets and circling blocks, trying to find a place that looked well shut up, but also vacant. He needed a place to spend out the day. He also needed it fast. The sun would be up shortly. His eyes move over building after building, until they fall upon a building labeled crime scene. Slamming on the breaks he takes a look. Hearing a scuffle of motion next to him. He notices Susan hunched up in a awkward position. It must be from his slamming on the breaks. Louis’ eyes scan over the building. It looked tight and enclosed, even if the outer shell wasn’t, Louis could find some place without windows. Pulling the car over to an open spot. He parks it. Looking to Susan he laughs, she was out like a light. Leaning over he slaps her upside the head. “Lets go whoreâ€

    Getting out of the car, he heads to the door, with the old looking crime scene tape. He hears Susan get out of the car and stumble up the stairs in a half sleep daze. Grasping the doorknob he twists it and it opens to his surprise. He assumed people have already been staying. Sliding in he hold the door open for her, then slams it shut. Louis’ eyes look around the room. This one was big, but it had windows, he didn’t trust the haphazard setup. He continues inward into the building to find a better place. Susan follows behind him, the bags in her hands as she goes. ¤
     
  10. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, Feeding ¤ ¤Continued pt. 9¤

    ¤ He reaches a room that says broom closet. He smirks as he opens it. The room was empty but it was dark. “Susan, lets go I found one†he yells loudly. She had helped him search. Louis had noticed she was to into the vampire idea. She assumed she had no chance. He thought about this idea, he perplexed once again that mass media had all the power. She enters the room from the hall. Her eyes meet his but instantly divert. “Come on, lets go, slow bitch†She makes his way over to him, and steps into the unlit room. His hand snaps the on the light from above. The small hanging bulb swings from the force of Louis’ pull. He could feel the hunger build up inside him. The long drive without anything to do, and having to drive had almost bored him to death. He looks to Susan, a smile crossing his lips. He steps over in two strides toward the outturned women. Laughing as his hands take her shoulders. Her body quakes from his cold touch. He smiles spinning her around. He looks to her watered eyes. He could smell her and begin to hear her heart.

    Slamming her against the wall, her hands fail and drop the bags. The items spill out onto the floor. Most of the items were half eaten from Susan. Leaning in his tongue slide along the nook of her neck. Susan’s mind raced. She thought of all the things she could do. Her mind kept running back to those old movies, vampires were immortal what could I do. He hands ball up as she feels his slimy paw son her. Louis tongue running along her neck, sent chills up her body. Then as Louis’ teeth bite down into her neck, right above her vein. A wave of pleasure ran through her. Her mind began to swim to other things as he feed. ¤
     
  11. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    ¤ 5-23-03, Louis’ Weekend, Feeding ¤ ¤Continued pt. 10¤

    ¤ Louis’ tongue seems to guide her blood into a line that directs it into his mouth. Her blood tasted good, warm and pleasurable to drink. Her body didn’t even move against his advances, his hand casually run up her body, but keep within a limit. His hand moved up her arms. He smiles as he feels her body weakening and falling into his grasp more. He feed for a few moments more. He knew he’s end up killing her, but for now he decided to let her live incase his trip last longer than what he had expected. He didn’t want to take any chances of trying to hunt and feed of the wrong person. He feels her quickly fall against his hold. He pulls back and away. His tongue running over her wounds, they heal instantly. He smiles as he lets her drop to the floor in her weakened state. She hits with a thud, and a crunch as she lands on a few of the store goods. Kneeling he grabs one of the warm beers.

    Sitting down he leans back on the wall. The warm beer in a hand, and his head against the wall, he wondered where he would find Williams Costume Co. Louis could feel the drag of the beginning sunrise. He was beginning to feel tired, it wasn’t just from the sunrise, and it was also from the trip too. He was in town to pick up attire for an upcoming Ravnos Dark Carnival. He hadn’t been to one in awhile, at least this one he had a date for. He smirked thinking of karah for a moment. Louis casually wondered how the rituals were going. He wondered what would happen to him when he returned. He falls sleep for the daylight hours, having drain susan so she would sleep for almost all the day. Louis knew that he’d have a hard time rousing here even at dusk. ¤
     
  12. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    Alright, This Chapter is done. I'd like any comments/questions. Please keep it constructive. Thanks
     
  13. DB

    DB Premium Member

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    I think its good, keep going i want to read more
     
  14. TheNamelessYam

    TheNamelessYam Member!

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    took me a while to read, but its a good story, but i wont rate it till you get in a few more chapters

    also, try to fit more into each post IF YOU CAN, it gets irritating after a while, but if its gonna make it confusing or split up a section, then keep it as is
     
  15. Crookedfoot

    Crookedfoot Premium Member

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    I like it, but I may be a bit biased.
    I've read books by E.L. Penrod, specifically "The Vampire Chronicles", her series is very similar.

    May I suggest working in flash back sequences telling us how he became a vampire/pimp?
    A little history never hurts, and adds to the story sometimes.
     
  16. Blade Walker13

    Blade Walker13 Member!

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    pretty good story keep going tho :)
     
  17. DeadLocked

    DeadLocked BattleForums Addict

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    I have another section to this, but its a bit explicit with a gun fight and stuff. I dont know if it would be ok to post it.
     
  18. TheNamelessYam

    TheNamelessYam Member!

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    you could probably post it. i mean, what is there in that section that we havent already heard in this forum?