Samsara
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- Joined
- May 19, 2003
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- 5,085
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- The Hotel California
- Website
- www.WarcraftForums.com
Eduardo's Autobiography
Bit of background on me.
I suffer from a slight split personality disorder where at school and mainly everyone gets to see this, i am pretty lazy and laid back, typical teenager. Online, you guys judge me i suppose. And finally the real me. Not many people know this side of me save a few amount of people including Susie, Audrey, Ryan and Lauren. I'm a chronic liar to everyone i meet, i mainly lie to give people a better impression of me.
NOTE: i have never lied online.
I tend to grow attached to people and it really hurts to let go. I have no luck with girls whatsoever. I am not athletic since i got into high school even though i was a soccer kid my life til then. I have this weird obsession of listening to people's problems and keeping what i feel pent up inside.
Age 0-4
Song: Staring at the Sun, Offspring
Well i guess all of us don't have very many memories from when we were very young but some certain things stick out. Mainly, i have a very vivid memory of my dog that passed away and how my mom cried for him. I asked her why she was crying and she told me that my dog is very sick and we wouldn't see him again. I was around 3-4 years old.Aside from vague memories of dressing up as batman for halloween and my brother eating dog food, i dont remember anything else.
Age 5-10
Song: Youth of the Nation, P.O.D.
Hmm something interesting about me, i was born the sixth of october, which is a week after the cutoff date for school, meaning i got held back in kindergarten. What i end up telling everyone is that I got held back because my fingerpainting sucked
. Lets see...I joined boyscouts (laugh and i will castrate you with a bowline knot) and got my "arrow of light" at the end of sixth grade. During Fourth grade, i started to develop bad school habits such as not doing my homework and i forged my mom's signature for a progress report which got me in a boatload in trouble. I got my first communion and since then i haven't done much related to church, hell, i think i go to church at most once a year. My best friend, Tim, who happened to be my neighbor started to be a jerk and kept putting me down. The only reason that i was still his friend was because i have no self-esteem and i didn't have any other friends.I got my first crush on this girl named Jenna and i still laugh about it because she is now captain of the cheerleaders and has nothing but cobwebs in her thick skull, i still invited her to my birthday (eighth). We get a new dog, she dies, we get another.
Age: 11-14
Song: Somewhere I Belong, Linkin Park
Not much really happens, i go to school, discover battleforums (don't post yet) and i meet my current group of "friends", Companions isn't the right word but it's the first word that comes to mind. I stop talking to Tim after he makes a joke about my parents and how his parents make more money.
Age: 15-16
Song: Disarm, Smashing Pumpkins
Okay I start high school, post whore at BF and i get addicted to the internet. At school there is this incredibly beautiful girl that we both kept giving hints at each other for the whole school year and her best friend kept on telling me if i liked her. in my immaturity i always said no because i felt stupid saying that i did. ever since, i haven't seen her.
Age:16-17
Song: How Soon is Now, tATu
This is my biggest year of my life. around late june i fell into a suicidal state of mind, i was dead serious about it. it all started when i got asked "if you were to die today, who would really miss you". That blew me away. I thought to myself, my parents of course and maybe my brother....no not really. My aunts and uncles? No because there are so many people in my family that they would just come to my funeral and say "im so sorry" to my parents. My friends? *laughs* I'm just there as background. I then figured why live, really? I have no future prospect AT ALL. My grades are "average" and if i do get married, it would be to the first person i sleep with and she would probably cheat on me and end in a divorce. That and i would probably be some cubicle monkey at a big faceless corporation. I loved the sea. I figured I should die there.
Last summer I met the most incredible people i have ever met, Audrey and Susie. In a sense, they kind of "saved" me.I met them over Neverwinter Nights as my character was going through a funk (my character is ironically EXACTLY who i am) and I fell in love with Susie through my character (this was a roleplaying server). We talked on AIM til around two in the morning all summer and i still harbor my feelings to her to this very day. not one day has passed where i fantasize about driving to her place and telling her how i feel. My dillemma is that if i do say that, it would destroy our friendship and she has been my best friend.
I haven't talked to her for a long time so i think whatever there was between us died. Now more than often i'm talking to Audrey, her sister. I feel so confused because she reminds me of her younger sister alot but i think i am also developing feelings for her as well. I really don't know what to do.
Edit: more will be added to this when i find time and get rid of my headache
Bit of background on me.
I suffer from a slight split personality disorder where at school and mainly everyone gets to see this, i am pretty lazy and laid back, typical teenager. Online, you guys judge me i suppose. And finally the real me. Not many people know this side of me save a few amount of people including Susie, Audrey, Ryan and Lauren. I'm a chronic liar to everyone i meet, i mainly lie to give people a better impression of me.
NOTE: i have never lied online.
I tend to grow attached to people and it really hurts to let go. I have no luck with girls whatsoever. I am not athletic since i got into high school even though i was a soccer kid my life til then. I have this weird obsession of listening to people's problems and keeping what i feel pent up inside.
Age 0-4
Song: Staring at the Sun, Offspring
Well i guess all of us don't have very many memories from when we were very young but some certain things stick out. Mainly, i have a very vivid memory of my dog that passed away and how my mom cried for him. I asked her why she was crying and she told me that my dog is very sick and we wouldn't see him again. I was around 3-4 years old.Aside from vague memories of dressing up as batman for halloween and my brother eating dog food, i dont remember anything else.
Age 5-10
Song: Youth of the Nation, P.O.D.
Hmm something interesting about me, i was born the sixth of october, which is a week after the cutoff date for school, meaning i got held back in kindergarten. What i end up telling everyone is that I got held back because my fingerpainting sucked
. Lets see...I joined boyscouts (laugh and i will castrate you with a bowline knot) and got my "arrow of light" at the end of sixth grade. During Fourth grade, i started to develop bad school habits such as not doing my homework and i forged my mom's signature for a progress report which got me in a boatload in trouble. I got my first communion and since then i haven't done much related to church, hell, i think i go to church at most once a year. My best friend, Tim, who happened to be my neighbor started to be a jerk and kept putting me down. The only reason that i was still his friend was because i have no self-esteem and i didn't have any other friends.I got my first crush on this girl named Jenna and i still laugh about it because she is now captain of the cheerleaders and has nothing but cobwebs in her thick skull, i still invited her to my birthday (eighth). We get a new dog, she dies, we get another.Age: 11-14
Song: Somewhere I Belong, Linkin Park
Not much really happens, i go to school, discover battleforums (don't post yet) and i meet my current group of "friends", Companions isn't the right word but it's the first word that comes to mind. I stop talking to Tim after he makes a joke about my parents and how his parents make more money.
Age: 15-16
Song: Disarm, Smashing Pumpkins
Okay I start high school, post whore at BF and i get addicted to the internet. At school there is this incredibly beautiful girl that we both kept giving hints at each other for the whole school year and her best friend kept on telling me if i liked her. in my immaturity i always said no because i felt stupid saying that i did. ever since, i haven't seen her.
Age:16-17
Song: How Soon is Now, tATu
This is my biggest year of my life. around late june i fell into a suicidal state of mind, i was dead serious about it. it all started when i got asked "if you were to die today, who would really miss you". That blew me away. I thought to myself, my parents of course and maybe my brother....no not really. My aunts and uncles? No because there are so many people in my family that they would just come to my funeral and say "im so sorry" to my parents. My friends? *laughs* I'm just there as background. I then figured why live, really? I have no future prospect AT ALL. My grades are "average" and if i do get married, it would be to the first person i sleep with and she would probably cheat on me and end in a divorce. That and i would probably be some cubicle monkey at a big faceless corporation. I loved the sea. I figured I should die there.
Last summer I met the most incredible people i have ever met, Audrey and Susie. In a sense, they kind of "saved" me.I met them over Neverwinter Nights as my character was going through a funk (my character is ironically EXACTLY who i am) and I fell in love with Susie through my character (this was a roleplaying server). We talked on AIM til around two in the morning all summer and i still harbor my feelings to her to this very day. not one day has passed where i fantasize about driving to her place and telling her how i feel. My dillemma is that if i do say that, it would destroy our friendship and she has been my best friend.
I haven't talked to her for a long time so i think whatever there was between us died. Now more than often i'm talking to Audrey, her sister. I feel so confused because she reminds me of her younger sister alot but i think i am also developing feelings for her as well. I really don't know what to do.
Edit: more will be added to this when i find time and get rid of my headache
