Another story

Discussion in 'Artistic Expressions' started by Emperor Pan I, Jun 11, 2003.

  1. Emperor Pan I

    Emperor Pan I Respected Member

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    This is one I thought up awhile back and never put a story to it. I am going to post it, this post however is not a story, more of a letter that leads you into the story.
    Undetermined Title

    Data file opened.

    ----------------------------------
    -03-06-4058-
    The field research team came back today with a huge trinkit. Apparently, there was an organic substance upon the planet. If our research was to go as far as find another living being, sentient or not, they're research could get funded by the internal galaxy research operation.
    Several scientists hurried back and forth as the rocks were put in containment. the scientists did numbers of tests to determine mass and density.
    Several messages were sent. We can only hope
    -johnathon
    ------------------------------------
    Red hawk Team:project Ophelia

    --
    Upon the last hour, the status report was filed. Open communication indicates something disasterous. Nothing has been determined, but our team has been sent. Major tagn won't be pleased.
    --

    Close Transfer order
    ----------------------------
    Open Ophelia data:
    Document 0710. Date of exchange: 04-06-4058

    -#001>>Link opened
    -#00300f00 >>03:00 an explosion occured in Sc1d1 lab in sector A
    -#00300f00 >>03:31 an explosion occured in Sc1d1 lab in sector b
    -#00300f00 >>04:06 an explosion occured in Sc201 lab in sector b
    -#00300f00 >>04:58 an explosion occured in Sc3T5 lab in sector E.
    -#00200S00 >>05:00 bio signs dropped to a 30% O2 request.
    -#00900J00 >> 05:08 Hail sent out.
    -#00200p00>>05:45 Climate conditions changed.
    -#00200S00 >>06:00 bio signs dropped to a 6% O2 request.
    -004>>Link forcebly closed
    -003>>Signal is blocked
    -002>>Link closed
    -----------------------------
    Data file closed
     
  2. ChrisH36

    ChrisH36 Guy with Most Posts on Quiet Board.

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    It is a great story, its just i don't like the ending parts to it. When they open the log, its like a boring Star Trek log that Captian Kirk/Picard does all the time.
     
  3. TheNamelessYam

    TheNamelessYam Member!

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    its a good story, i just hope thats not the whole thing. and hellwolf, its the status of some lab or something on a computer, which means if it was much anything else, it would look kind of pathetic and unrealistic.
     
  4. Abominable Pamma

    Abominable Pamma Premium Member

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    Was lab b meant to blow up twice?
     
  5. TheNamelessYam

    TheNamelessYam Member!

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    different sectors in lab B
     
  6. ChrisH36

    ChrisH36 Guy with Most Posts on Quiet Board.

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    Oh lol. I have a hard time remembering everything, i browse quickly through it once and make any corrections even though they not be realistic.