Discussion in 'Roleplayer's Realm' started by CelestialBadger, Apr 10, 2006.
I'm running a Where's Waldo rpg. Who wants to join?
I'm curious, how the hell is this supposed to work?
YOU GET TO LOOK FOR WALDO
OMGZ WHERE IS HE? IS HE IN THE SEA OF RED/WHITE STRIPED SHIRTS?
YOU FAIL TO SEE WALDO IN THE SEA OF RED AND WHITE STRIPED SHIRTS
((I would like to join. My character sheet is as follows:
Name: Monkey Magoo
Bio: Monkey Magoo had cruel parents who hated him and considered him an accident, thus the name. He has led a very secluded life, as no one wants a friend named Monkey Magoo. His parents locked him in the basement whenever he was home, forcing him to eat rats and drink urine to survive, until he eventually overpowered them in a blood-thirsty rage and began eating them alive until they finally stopped struggling. Now a murderous animal, he seeks out the only friend he ever had: Waldo. Countless hours spent finding Waldo, who always ended up being there for him in the end. He wants to find Waldo, and nothing dare get in his way.))
Monkey Magoo leaps onto J'kar from behind, digging his teeth into the unsuspecting human boy's neck. Tearing out a large, bloody chunk of flesh, a thick stream of blood surged out into Monkey's mouth, overwhelming him with the delicious, familiar flavor. Pouncing on top of the wheezing J'kar, Monkey dug his fingers into the boy's chest, violently enough to break the skin and enabling him to force through the breastplate and pull the ribcage apart. As J'kar's eyes widened and heartrate slowed, Monkey buried his face into his exposed chest for several seconds. J'kar gasped his last breath as Monkey used his teeth to tear out some bloody tissue from his chest cavity.
"No Waldo in there," he thought to himself as he ran away.
Get a new character, J'Kar. And make him sturdier. Where's Waldo RPG is not for the weak.
Monkey, you notice that you're running toward a large sea of people, teaming around randomly.
I never even defined my character. Damn. Fine.
Name: Rigor Mortis
Age: Who knows?
Race: Living corpse.
Powers: Unkillable, no matter the mutilation, he regenerates nearly instantly. Wolverine on steroids...mixed with Deadpool. Also has the magical ability to make anyone within 50 yards crap his pants spontaniously. Also has the ability to obtain an erection that lasts for as long as he desires...it is one of his trademark moves, the Erecto-Bone. With this massive woody, he can carve great swaths in a sea of enemies, as well as simultaniously have sex with seven women by placing his penis through their entire digestive tract, entering the anus and exiting the mouth. Before this, however, he puts on a special sleeve made of a gentle fuzzy material, and he uses this techique to softly brush their anuses clean.
Bio: Centuries ago, he was a Hindu priest, travelling the globe in a quest to spread to all the joyous wonders of anal health. He strongly advocated the practice of anal bleaching, and his sometimes invasive approaches upon men and women alike earned him Death By MegaBoner, a horrible African tradition in which big black Aborigines beat one to death with monster erections. This left a horrible scar upon his soul, and he was cursed to walk the earth for all eternity, his very body as stiff as the merciless assault of the African penises. He still pursues his former quest, to rid the world of unhealthy, unsightly anuses, and now his undead form is much more equipped to properly achieve his goal.
Name: Tyris Dark
Bio: Long ago in a land far away back in acient times. A Immortal son of the hell gods was born. Tyris set out on a adventure to kill anyone or anything in his sight at the age of 17. Many have tryed killing but they cant even harm him for 4 years now. He has been stabed over 1000 times and just looked at all the people that stabed him like the are retardted, and says to them you cant kill me and cuts off there heads. He dont need a army he is his own army a one man army. At the age of 21 Tyris becomes Immortal and also comes to his greatest challenge yet, Love. He sees this beautiful girl. So he ask her to run away with him and she does. The very next day her Papa the great and mighty J'kar finds out she is missing and sends his powerful army of millions in serch of her and to kill who everyone in his way no matter what just to get his daughter back. 2 years later Tyris and J'kar finnaly meet and have war for years to come. When Tyris kills all of J'kar army J'kar ask if they can have a talk. Tyris replies with sure why not Im starving you got any food? They have the little talk and everything turns out that they join forces and Tyris and J'kar beautful daughter Brea get married. And Tyris and J'kar And Brea take over the world. And are now looking to take over the Universe.
You've received word of a man known simply as "Waldo" who claims he has the most hideous, unsightly anus of all. Your questing has brought you across the land, where you finally find yourself walking toward a teaming sea of people. You see Monkey Magoo standing about a hundred yards from the sea. And he'll continue to stand there until Az tells me what he's doing.. C'mon people. I'm trying to run an RPG here!
You're received word that the man in charge of the universe is a mysterious fellow known simply as "Waldo". Since you've travelled with J'kar I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you see the same shit he does.
LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE DOING!!
Rigor Mortis walks over to Monkey Magoo, rather displeased with the former mutilation which the odd creature had heaped upon him. Rigor activated his Erecto-Bone and knocked him upside the head with it, rendering him unconscious. He leaned down and peered at Monkey's anus, and his lip curled in disgust. Such a FILTHY anus...tsk tsk.
Rigor snapped his fingers, and Monkey Magoo crapped himself with an explosion of fecal matter that likely burned something fierce. The massive torrent of poo acted to cleanse out the majority of the nastiness within his rectum. Rigor nodded. This would have to do...there was not enough time to stop and complete the job now...he must find this "Waldo" before his anus contaminates the whole population in that sea of people.
Deactivating his Erecto-Bone, Rigor Mortis entered the sea of people, leaving Monkey Magoo laying unconscious in a pool of his own defecant.
Damnit guys. I think we have a misunderstanding somewhere. This RPG is about finding Waldo.
Hey, I'm working on finding Waldo. I just had some business to attend to. Don't rush me. As any WW veteran would tell you, finding Waldo takes time and patience. You cannot force it to happen quickly. Hey Mr. CB, play DM and tell me what Rigor Mortis sees in the crowd, and any clues he may pick up on.
YOU SEE A BUNCH OF PEOPLE. NONE OF THEM APPEAR TO BE WALDO.
<3 CB=BESTDMEVER 4 LYFE
I AM LOOKING NEXT TO THE PYRAMID.
Make a character first.
Name: Sir Penile Glands
Aliases: The Penis Fairy
Physical description: This stark male, holds a wand in his right hand, and in his left, a penis!
Personality: Straight to the point, a business man.
History: Post rehab, ex convict, once a life of crime, has since turned his life around to pay men for their penises, in quarters, of course.
In your travels you've received word of a man named "Waldo" who has an enormous penis for sale.
You don't see Waldo by the pyramid.
I peek around the river.
Rigor Mortis vainly tries to push his way through the mass of people, but the group is too thick. He resummons his Erecto-Bone and begins to sweep massive swaths through the crowd, knocking them down by the dozens. In this manner, he moves through the crowd, searching for this "Waldo." How, he wonders, shall he spot and identify him?
Separate names with a comma.