well this is my first story...

Discussion in 'Artistic Expressions' started by pyro_junky, Jul 13, 2003.

  1. MTML

    MTML Member!

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    I don't see what's good about this story. It's more of a chain of events, this happening, then that happening and so on. I press you to go and pick up a story that maybe a 2nd or 3rd grader wrote and how the narrator " tells " how everything happened, and not " showing " how everything took place.
    My story... PLUG WARNING: Check out my story on this page!... has came off the top of my head so far, but I've thought of the basic storyline of it.
    The characters are terrible. I mean, not like they act bad, but they aren't described and the setting is pretty dismal. Be descriptive! And I'm truly sorry for those who are riveted by these yawn-inducing fictions. Pick up Lord of the Rings or the Drow Elf Series.
    5/10
     
  2. Jon_K

    Jon_K Member!

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    You guys are being jerks, so now he isn't posting anymore. I liked the story but thanks to y'all he isn't continueing it.

    Thanks again.... ;-(
     
  3. adhesive

    adhesive Member!

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    Well the begining was great, but jon u gota admit that once he was half way done the story just became BORING and CHEESY
     
  4. Fou-Lu

    Fou-Lu Member!

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    Sucks. Sorry, but that's my summary.
    Story:6 Pretty decent story but became a chain of event.
    Grammer:1 Quit skipping English class to write this story!
    Originality:5(seen it b4)
    Overall:4
     
  5. pyro_junky

    pyro_junky BattleForums Senior Member

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    your moms bed room ;)
    owch... lol thats the worst i got so far :)

    well im not writing anymore! so you dont have to deal with! boo hoo boo hoo *runs in a corner and sobs*
     
  6. Rune_Scape

    Rune_Scape Member!

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    dang i was liking it o well...........