Rate my poems

Discussion in 'Artistic Expressions' started by AP, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. AP

    AP Custom User Title

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    I have no titles. Help me think of some

    Most of them seem really bad to me. If you can figure out some ways i can tweak it to make it better please share.

    need feedback.

    Fast, this stuff is like due tomorrow lol

    1. Its a secks poem
    2. I wrote this about a geisha figurine outside my room in a glass display.
    3. Its a poem about seeking forigiveness
    4. Its a "high" poem. It originated from some body movement (to help inspire creativty) we were doing. I tried to mix them both so i would look hXc, cuz all the cool kids smoke pot, ...yeah.
    5. Its a commie poem! I like the theme but i think the structure can really improve like hell.
    6. Filler. I really need help on this.
    7. Winter/spring death/life
     
  2. T3h Sorrow

    T3h Sorrow "Best ***s on the forum"

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    From:
    Frederick
    i love the first one, the others are iffy, if your teacher is a female, go for the first one most deff.

    second one, is about a ballerina?

    third one, i like the third one also, these are actually good.

    fourth, doesnt jump out at me.

    fifth one a errror? "down the with the machine" down with the machine is fine, talking about how we are all sheep to society? i like that one also.

    sixth, well.... no comment.

    final, no comment.


    whats the poem have to be about? a theme or something?


    i have to get off, ill be on in... 7 hours when i wake up for school.

    ------------------------------------------------
    i'm tired and cant think of really good titles sorry
    ------------------------------------------------

    whoops, i thought you wanted crit.

    Title one: Heavenly i guess.
    Title two: Still Life
    Title Three: The Kiss
    Title Five: Drones/Machines
     
  3. AZN_FLEA

    AZN_FLEA BattleForums Senior Member

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    NORTHER - FROZEN ANGEL

    quite the same theme i think?

    dunno about pics, just get a geisha?