Notice to all Americans

Korrok

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NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,
In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to
govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your
independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The rt. hon. Tony Blair, MP
for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a
world
outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need
for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A
questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you
noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. Look up "interspersed".
2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft
know on your behalf.
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian
accents. It really isn't that hard.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
the good guys.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
to get confused and give up half way through.
6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is
a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body
armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
side by 2005.
7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if they give you any merde. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that
there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a
new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive
Day".
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we
mean.
10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
 
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lmao is this why you have benn gone for so long? you have been working on your doctrine to state you are taking over the United States. i have few questions, but only one i want to ask right now.

Why would you post this on BattleForums?

half the BF population is non-american. and those who are American really couldnt care less. but it was interesting, and kinda humoros. overall i like it.
 

Korrok

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*shrugs* It's up mainly because it's funny. Makes me laugh, so hey, that's reason enough. Also, I was feeling in the mood since all the Bush-uber-alles rot is going on.

And I've not been working on that all this time either, it's been on my website for a couple of years at least at http://www.geocities.com/epilogueofyouth with some other choice tidbits. No...I have been gone for a wholly more sinister reason...MWOO HA HA HA HA!!!! (alright, my computer was broken :( )
 

OniSyphon

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Scotland...Oh yeah...the scottish...the one's with the kilts and all...and the British...they one's who use to be a powerful nation...sigh those were the days huh mate?:rolleyes:
 

Deathmate

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1. Incase you havent noticed, America Rules the World. We have Tonly Blair in the palm of our hand.
2. We kicked your ass 200 years ago, dont make us do it again.
3. German Cars Suck ****.
4. Europeans are pussies.
5. American Football is the only football. What you idiots play is called "soccer", learn english. Morons.
6. End your obsession with America.
7. Stop speaking with gay accents.
8. Stop asking us for help, we saved your country enough already.

Why do you brits always talk about America? Here in america, we rarely even think about brits. Thats what happens when your #1, too bad you'll never know what that feels like.

Grow our potatoes, squeeze our grapes, and shut the **** up, ok limey?
 

Korrok

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Where's your boyfriend now, Deathmate...?

1. America THINKS it rules the world. In reality, the world laughs behind its hand at America and its chimpanzee leader.
2. You've never kicked British ass. The British left you alone because it had the rest of its Empire to deal with.
3. German cars are the only cars. Drive one, understand.
4. Europeans gave you everything you have. Who heard of an American inventor?!
5. Only Americans call football "soccer". It seems that everywhere else regards football to be the proper name for that game. Thus that would be the proper definition. The text from the first post still applies.
6. America is not an obsession, its a sad though mildly humourous reality.
7. Sorry, but TEXAN ACCENTS?!?! Pu-leese!
8. Ever heard the one about the American cavalry films? We do all the hard work, America kind of waltzes in and thinks it's saved the day!

OniSyphon: Scotland is a part of Britain, in case you didn't know. And no, we don't run about screaming "OCH AYE THE NOO!!!", wearing kilts and eating haggis. Although it's funny that Americans seem to think so.

"Ahhhh....Yank beating season must be in, I ain't bashed this many yanks in forty seasons..."
 
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I am American and proud of it, but i do not agree with anything you say DeathMate. Football is a great sport as well as American Football. German cars are the best in the world if you haven't noticed. I wish i had and enlgish accent, one of my friends from england has one and it attracts all the women. Last, the English people do know English (duh?). What we speak is American, otherwise known as "bad english".
 

Korrok

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I have nothing against Americans whatsoever. It's a bloody joke thread!

I have about as much against American people as I do against people in my own country, I'm not daft enough to think you're all the same, and I'll get back to caring about individuals. Although I'll not resist the urge to get another bash or dozen in ;)
 

Renzokuken

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Originally posted by Deathmate
1. Incase you havent noticed, America Rules the World. We have Tonly Blair in the palm of our hand.
2. We kicked your ass 200 years ago, dont make us do it again.
3. German Cars Suck ****.
4. Europeans are pussies.
5. American Football is the only football. What you idiots play is called "soccer", learn english. Morons.
6. End your obsession with America.
7. Stop speaking with gay accents.
8. Stop asking us for help, we saved your country enough already.

Why do you brits always talk about America? Here in america, we rarely even think about brits. Thats what happens when your #1, too bad you'll never know what that feels like.

Grow our potatoes, squeeze our grapes, and shut the **** up, ok limey?
You assume too much. And you make false statements without backing them up with any real evidence, besides your big fat keyboard.
 

Emperor Pan I

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Football is the only way to call soccer. What kind of name is football for a sport you carry an oval ball in your hands? Simple minded americans, you think ur strong, you wait for the war to be half over than run in and act like you on the whole thing after britain was already kicking ass.

Canada was one of the first to join WWII and americans were to scared to HAHAHA Whos the pussy now?
 
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ok pan no need to be prejudice. Americans were not afraid to join the war. but if you dont recall if it wasnt for us, your efforts would have been a waste. so dont being up useless information. and one thing i forgot to mention korrok. you say who ever heard of an American inventor? three off the top of my head. Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and last Albert Einstein! without him you wouldnt be typing your messages here.

Edit*
Have you ever heard of a man named Henry Ford?
Also the were the guys named, the Wright Brothers. Heard of 'em?
 

TrongaMonga

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Answer to Deathmate, supporting Korrok:

1. The United States of America (you can't even spell ur country name) rules no country. I would like to see what would happen if U.S. lost all comercial to any other country. You would merely die.

2. You kicked the British ass with, if im not mistaken, the French fellows help. You need help for everything.

3. American cars are mobile cans, they waste too much gas, noisy, and uncomfortable. German cars are great (and japanese too)

4. Europeans are pussies? In case you didn't noticed, you descend from Europeans. And, towards the generations and the mixing of cultures, people tend to fortify their personalitys. Therefore, you aare more pussies than Europeans. And sorry, Korrok, I must disagree with you. the USA did have inventors (Edison, Franklin, the Wright brothas, some more), but as they all were European descendents, I understend ur point :D

5. I have never understood why u call foot - ball to something that u almost don't touch the ball (and that is not even a ball) with ur feet.

6. Not obsession. Joking party.

7. Go hear Bush talking. The man seems a cowboy, yehaoo.

8. You are only paying the debt.
 

TrongaMonga

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Originally posted by adidassoccer
ok pan no need to be prejudice. Americans were not afraid to join the war. but if you dont recall if it wasnt for us, your efforts would have been a waste. so dont being up useless information. and one thing i forgot to mention korrok. you say who ever heard of an American inventor? three off the top of my head. Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, and last Albert Einstein! without him you wouldnt be typing your messages here.

Edit*
Have you ever heard of a man named Henry Ford?

Einstein is not American, he was a German that escaped from the Nazi regime.
 

Ghetto_Rap_Masta

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Originally posted by pan_the_man
Football is the only way to call soccer. What kind of name is football for a sport you carry an oval ball in your hands? Simple minded americans, you think ur strong, you wait for the war to be half over than run in and act like you on the whole thing after britain was already kicking ass.

Canada was one of the first to join WWII and americans were to scared to HAHAHA Whos the pussy now?
Hes right you know, canada was the first country outside of Europe to help the Europeans when my people (germany) were making the Dutch/Norweigan our b****es.

And yes, german cars (and japanese to some extent) own probably any other car there is. Although i do like muscle cars, you got to admit thier so damn inefficiant compared to german cars. Plus, did you ever see a modified german car? Thier pretty damn sweet :D

 

TrongaMonga

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Usa only entered war when they felt threathned. Same happend in the WWI, I think. They entered the war when the Germans sinked a ship full of passengers. Before that, instead of helping, no, they frekin sold their weapons to help the war effort, and to help having their safes full.
 

Sogeking

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so much to say about america....they dont deal wit illegal aliens enough....we need a death penalty or catapult of doom (launches the aliens back to mexico!) to get rid of the scum.

earth should not fight wars anymore. maybe minor skirmishes, but not war. cuz countries like iraq have no care for military rules. if they could, theyd drop 10 nukes in all the most civilized areas of the country. (if they were smart, theyd nuke the missisippi and iowa area)
 

TheNamelessYam

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Originally posted by Deathmate
1. Incase you havent noticed, America Rules the World. We have Tonly Blair in the palm of our hand.
2. We kicked your ass 200 years ago, dont make us do it again.
3. German Cars Suck ****.
4. Europeans are pussies.
5. American Football is the only football. What you idiots play is called "soccer", learn english. Morons.
6. End your obsession with America.
7. Stop speaking with gay accents.
8. Stop asking us for help, we saved your country enough already.

Why do you brits always talk about America? Here in america, we rarely even think about brits. Thats what happens when your #1, too bad you'll never know what that feels like.

Grow our potatoes, squeeze our grapes, and shut the **** up, ok limey?
i learned quite recently some of this stuff.
football originated in other places, we modified it. i think its a mix of something and rugby

american cars suck, german ones are way better dude. its a well known fact. lets take this as in example. i know a guy with a ford car, hes had to replace the engiene 3 times, and it broke beyond fixable by 120,000 miles. he also has a german brand truck. hes never replaced the engiene, and its got a solid 300,000 miles on it...some tough stuff :eek:

soccer and german both go with this pic... now seriously go to THIS guy and say "soccer sucks"


sigh.. calling ALL europeans pussies? how many europeans do you know? 3? do you know how that country was doing at all?

gay accents? wtf?!
 

Forged

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I drive a german car besides the fact it rarelly breaks down I hate it. It drives like shit. Noe of course I drive a $10,000 volvo and not a bemer but I have to pay for my own car and insurace (Why I got the volvo) insurance is cheap as hell on it. As far as 1 American inventor hell I will give you 2 Thomas Edison Benjamin Franklin
 
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ok tronga, your are entirely wrong about Einstein. i dont even know where you came up with that, but it has no truth at all. and yes America entered the war only after it was threatened, and yes it sold its weapons to both sides, i cant deny any of that. but think about this. if the US hadnt sold those weapons we never would have been able to afford the supplies to enter the war therefore the axis and nazi's could easily rule the world right now.
 

Emperor Pan I

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Originally posted by adidassoccer
ok tronga, your are entirely wrong about Einstein. i dont even know where you came up with that, but it has no truth at all. and yes America entered the war only after it was threatened, and yes it sold its weapons to both sides, i cant deny any of that. but think about this. if the US hadnt sold those weapons we never would have been able to afford the supplies to enter the war therefore the axis and nazi's could easily rule the world right now.
Your A dumbass Albert Einsteain Was a ****ing German and left Germany about the time of the war. Albert Einstein was a gerrman who lived in the USA.
 
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