Lol, A weird book I put together for school!

Discussion in 'Artistic Expressions' started by RyanXWing, Jun 2, 2003.

  1. RyanXWing

    RyanXWing Nothing special

    Oct 15, 2002
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    Seattle, WA.
    It was a dark and stormy night in the time of Thomas Edison. Suddenly Thomas was struck by lightning. He soon popped into an arcade of modern times.
    He was dumbfounded, the lights, the flashes, they all amazed him. He got up walked to a machine and was asked by a person, “Are you going to play, it doesn't look like you have any quarters.â€
    Edison responded back “Where can I get how you say, quarters?â€
    The young man responded, “Over there by the front desk, you do have a dollar right?â€
    Edison responded, “Yes! Of course I wouldn’t be caught with out one!â€
    The young man said, “Well... ok, whatever, now if you will excuse me.†The young man soon put a quarter into a small vertical slot on the black lower part of the machine. Edison walked over to the coin dispenser and tried to insert his dollar into a vertical slot. It would not fit so he, soon put it in the horizontal slot. He was surprised to find the machine eat his money. He started to beat the money dispenser. The manager saw him and walked up to Edison. The manager questioned, “What are you doing sir?â€
    Edison commented, “The machine ate my money! I wanted it back!†As soon as he stopped talking the machine dispensed four coins.
    The manager laughing softly said, “Your new in this country right? If not I don’t know where you have been the past 100 years.†The manager walked away and Edison walked over to another arcade game. He put the quarter into the machine and than the welcome screen turned on. Suddenly lightning struck the arcade and sucked Edison into the game. Edison found himself in the game Final Fantasy. He saw a black mage run followed closely by a giant. The black mage turned around and yelled, “HAAAAAA DOOOOO KEN!â€
    The giant exploded in what we would call a nuclear blast. Soon a fighter walked up to him and asked, “Overkill much?â€
    The black mage responded part laughing, “Well the giants gone ain’t he?â€
    The fighter responded yelling, “So is the entire forest!â€
    The mage responded stuttering, “Well you can’t kill a giant without a nuclear explosion, or something like that.â€
    “We better head to town, that old man gave us bad information on the armor of invincibility inside the Cave of no return.†The fighter said worriedly.
    “If it is The cave of no return, how do people know what is inside of it?†The mage asked.
    “Well where else would you expect to find a mystical armor of invincibility?†The fighter said half yelling.
    “Wait a minute where did that money go?†The mage asked slightly worried.
    “The old man asked for it since he gave us a quest.†The fighter said in response.
    “I hate to break it to you but he TOOK our money.†The mage said angrily.
    “No I gave it to him so HA!†The Fighter said unknowing.
    “Ugh! You are so stupid, I hate you.†The mage said with even more anger. The pair started walking to the town with Edison following them in much confusion.
    * *
    The pair soon came to the town when the fighter said, “Good, I was worried, it will be dark soon.â€
    “Dark soon? Its never dark here, at least not until we go to the inn.†The mage said slowly.
    “I always thought that was a little weird...†The fighter said confused.
    Edison walked in front of the group as soon as the pair saw this they unsheathed their weapons. The mage asked, “What is this?â€
    The fighter responded, “This must be one of those random encounters.â€
    “What are you talking about?†The mage said very confused.
    “You know, a random encounter, you’ll just be walking along then BAM! A couple of enemies pop out at you that want to fight to the gruesome death.†The fighter said enthusiastically.
    Edison responded, “No, no I do not want to fight, I only wish to get out of here. I am not from this world.â€
    The fighter responded, “Oh yeah, sure and I am the king of what is left of the Giant’s forest.â€
    The mage also commented, “Out of this world? PAH! Your just a monster that is trying to trick us into becoming your slaves for eternity.â€
    “I do not wish to fight! I just want help getting out of here.†Edison said annoyed.
    “If you are telling the truth throw down your weapons.†The mage demanded.
    “But I have no weapons.†Edison replied nervously.
    “You lie!†The mage shouted as he took out his knife.
    “Check me I am unarmed.†Edison said.
    The mage checked Edison’s clothing and backed away.
    “You are telling the truth... so what do you want?†The mage demanded.
    “I said I just wanted to find away out of here! I don’t belong!†Edison said annoyed.
    “Well what do we get in return?†The mage asked.
    “I will help you with your quest.†Edison answered.
    “Fine, Do you have any skills with a sword?â€
    “Do you know any magical spells?â€
    “Ugh... Do you know anything?!â€
    “I know how to harness lightning to produce controlled light.â€
    “R-really? TEACH ME HOW!†The mage commanded furiously.
    “I cannot! It would take hours to tell you!â€
    Suddenly three monsters popped out of nowhere. These were not just regular monsters, these were dark monsters.
    Edison was setting something up when he yelled, “Mage I need lightning!â€
    The mage yelled in something in gibberish and lightning came. Striking a pole that Edison had propped up a bright light shown disintegrating the monsters instantly.
    “One question, what were those?†Edison asked.
    “They looked like black rubber duckies.†Fighter said.
    “Those, those were minions of the dark lord Sronau.†The mage said informatively.
    Suddenly the ground below the group disappeared. Falling for what seemed to be six hours they finally slowed down by some unknown force and landed softly on the wet ground.
    “W-w-where are we?†Edison said stuttering.
    “Wha?! GET OUT OF MY CAVE!†said an unknown voice.
    “Who are you?†The mage said reaching for his knife.
    “Me, I am Mullog I am also know as Elogeams and this is my cave! GET OUT!â€
    “We will not listen to a petty fool!†The mage said unsheathing his sword.
    “What?! FOOL?! I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!†The strange creature clamored.
    The fighter and mage took out there weapons prepared to fight. Edison not knowing what to do walked backwards tripping over something. He looked at it and discovered it was a human skeleton. Horrified he crawled backwards falling into the second hole that day. Falling for about a minute he lands on a soft moist ground. Edison hears yelling above him and covers his head as the fighter and the mage fall down behind him.
    “Hello, anyone there?†The mage asked cautiously.
    “Just me.†Edison replied.
    “This stuff feels like my morning cherry Jell-O.†The fighter said.
    “That morning Jell-O will be in your face next time...†The mage said threateningly.
    “Really? That sounds gooooood!†The fighter said.
    “Have you ever experienced learning?†Asked the mage.
    “EDUCATION?! What is that?â€
    “Something you will never meet.â€
    Abruptly the cave started shaking. Soon it became flooded with a dark red light.
    “Whose there?†The mage said very demandingly.
    A shadow stepped into the light as the small group of three stepped backwards. Soon thousands of arrows came flying at them. Reacting quickly the mage casted a wind wall blocking all the arrows.
    “ANYONE! Do something!†The mage said very worried.
    “The fighter charged at the monster yelling, “Two fisted monkey style attack!â€
    Blinding flashes lit the cave with white light. Suddenly it all stopped.
    “Can I ask you something?†The mage said.
    “Shoot.†The fighter responded.
    “Two fisted monkey style attack?â€
    “Now, what was that?†The mage asked.
    “I don’t know, why don’t you tell me oh smart one?†The fighter questioned sarcastically.
    Edison not really paying attention starts to wonder how to get out of this world. Suddenly it hit him, LIGHTNING! It got him everywhere else it should get out of here. But he knew that the mage would not waste energy on him until they completed their quest.
    He started to walk down the cave wondering how he was going to get struck by lightning. He knew it would sound abnormal to ask to be struck by lightning when they were done with their quest. But then he got an idea. He would hold up a rod in their next fight. The only problem was, when was their next fight? Would there be one? If not then what would he do? He decided that it was the only way. If this didn’t work he didn’t know how he was going to get home.
    Soon he heard loud footsteps coming down the dark gloomy cave. What stood there horrified him. It was what seemed to be a cross between satan and a giant ugly beetle. He jumped out of the way as it swung it’s mace at Edison. He realized that this would be a perfect time for his plan. The mage and fighter hurried up as the cave started rumbling by the fierce swings of the mace.
    Standing in a defensive stance the mage’s staff gowed with an awesome light. Getting brighter the face of the monster could be seen better. Suddenly there was a yelp of pain as the light vanished. The mage had been knocked unconcious. With not much else to do the fighter charged but was quickly knocked to the side. Edison not knowing what to do just concentrated on getting out of there. He was sliced by the mace and suddenly everything was black.
    He suddenly woke up in bed. Was it all a dream? He looked at his arm and a scar from the mace was there. It was real. But he did not know how he got back. Or even how he survived. But in the end, all was fine.
  2. very.... odd.
    8/10 overall

    Original, some dry humor and the ending wasnt that good
  3. Emperor Pan I

    Emperor Pan I Respected Member

    Aug 8, 2002
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    Story 9/10
    originality 10/10
    style 7/10
    structured 6/10
    Spelling/Grammer 6/10
    OVerall 8/10

    Reviewers comments
    Very interesting. a touch of humor, and a very unrealistic, but interesting story. It was written fairly well, confusing and odd at points. It was a little off, and clumped together blending in, so the eyes had a hard time reading.
    As for spelling and grammer, there were several words missed spelt, and alot of the words used could have been better.
    Overall it was good.
  4. TheNamelessYam

    TheNamelessYam Member!

    Feb 28, 2003
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    it wasnt very funny. and pan was right, its extremely unrealistic, and a lot of concepts you didnt even explain. also, the end was kind of dull, but overall i had fun reading it, 7/10
  5. ChrisH36

    ChrisH36 Guy with Most Posts on Quiet Board.

    May 20, 2003
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    Temple Prime, Sarajevo
    Very funny but long