Jokes That'll Give You A Seizure

Magikarp

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I was browsing through the Chit Chat area and decided that we need a joke thread. Here are a few good ones:

A guy walks into a bar. He orders 8 shots, the bartender serves him. He takes the glasses and chugs them. Blam blam! He's done. The bartender asks him, "What do you have that makes you drink so fast?" He replies, "15 cents."

Two guys walked into a bar, the third guy ducked.

How do find the population of Mexico?
Roll a penny down a hill.

Who's the richest person in Mexico?
The one who got the penny.

Mama Jokes

1) Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

2) Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

3)Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

4)Yo mama's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop

Mommy, Mommy!

Mommy, Mommy! I keep running in circles.
Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor

Mommy, Mommy! are you sure this is how to learn to swim?
Shut up and get back in the sack!

Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire!
Shut up and get the marshmallows!

Mommy, Mommy! I hate daddy's guts.
Well, just leave them on the side of the plate
 

Miss

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The Mama jokes are old and lame... now I guess mommy mommy was funny. But didn't give me no seizure :p
 

Magikarp

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uFOO: gee, was i supposed to laugh?
Only if you have a sense of humor. Sorry if I dissapointed you. Besides, I created this thread to hear jokes from others. Those were just examples. I think we can do without your pointless sarcasm. Thanks.
 

Miss

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LOL hobo. Well that was good but it turned me on more :p then was funny.
 

Andrew

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heres one: whats the difference between a pizza and a black man? a pizza can feed a ffamily of 4


i know this has been posted somewhere before
 

Magikarp

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LoL. Racist jokes are damn good.

More of my personal favorites:

Mommy, Mommy! Why is everybody running?
Shut up and reload.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?
Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

Mommy, Mommy! Why are we pushing the car off the cliff?
Shut up son, you'll wake your father.

Mommy, Mommy! When are we going to have Aunt Edna for dinner?
Shut up, we haven't even finished your Grandmother yet.

Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner?
Shut up and get back in the oven!

I like mean jokes =P.
 

Glowy

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hehehe i made this one up and i thought it was quiet funny...


Whats vizzie/jason's favorite thing to eat??





















MANWHICH!!! HAHAH HA ROAROAORAORO OMG WTF T
 

Ntrik_

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ur moms so fat, when she went in front of my tv, i missed 3 episodes of Simpsons

ur moms so fat, when she fell, she made GRAND canyon

meh more of "ur moms so fat" jokes whne u search it in googles.
 

Magikarp

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Your mom is so fat, she's fat.

LoL!!!111one
 

Glowy

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i always liked ..ur momma so old she gang banged with the hebrews...

ur momma so old she took her drivers leson on a dinosaur nigga!!
 

aphextwin

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OT: stop with teh your mom jokes....... cuz most of them are found ............... @ www.yourmom.com














OT: knock knock
whose there
saddam
saddam who
saddam hussaine :\
 

Glowy

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ow about this thread is so gay it shines likes teddys anus.....ererererer roar?
 

dP

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I got 2 good story jokes

1. Little Susie came back home and said

"Mommy, Today at school Timmy at school gave me 5 dollars to do a cartwheel while he was sitting on top of a tree!"
"No, he was just trying to see your panties!"
"Oh..."
"So dont do it next time!"

The Next day Susie came back home and said

"Mommy, Today at school Timmy at school gave me 10 dollars to do a cartwheel while he was sitting on top of a tree!"
"Didn't i tell you before? He was just trying to see your panties!"
"Well I tricked him this time, I didnt wear any panties today!"

2. Johnny's parents hired a babysitter (A dam hot babysitter) to babysit Johnny while they went to a party. But they told her that if she does not do what Johnny says, they will sue her. So then when they left Johnny said
"Can i touch your bellybutton?"
"Sure, go ahead" said the babysitter
"Can i touch it with us both nakid?"
"Okay"
"Can I touch it with the lights off?"
"Okay"
When Johnny turned off the lights, the babysitter said
"HEY! Thats NOT my bellybutton!"
"Oh yeah!" said Johnny "Well that's not my finger either!"
 

Green(Sphere)

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heres a joke.

so one day jonny comes home after school and greets his mother. His mom then asks "How was your day?" "It was good, i had sex with the teacher today." replied jonny. The mother was outraged. Bursting with fury, she yelled at jonny to go to his room till his father came home at which point he would talk to jonny. Well the father comes home and the mother says, "You need to talk to your son about his school day." So the father goes to jonnys room and says, "Jonny, what happened at school today? Your mother looked pretty upset." "I had sex with the teacher today." Jonny replied. "WHAT!?!?!?! Really son? wow...your what?..12? 11? WOW, thats m'boy. Whadda ya say we go out tonight and go get you that new bike?" Exclamed the father. Well they went out and the father bought jonny the newest, shinniest, redest bike in town and the father asked if he wanted to ride it. the boy then replied, "No, my ass still hurts."
 

BigBled

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ok ok. this one is kinda wierd and corny.
a man just turned 21 so he goes to a bar. he tells the bartender "pour me a shot". he drinks it and his arm falls off. he says "pour another". he drinks it and his leg falls off. he says "damn, well might as well keep goin. pour me another!!".
well he continues untill all thats left is a torso and his head. he tells the bartender "pour me another!!". after he drinks it his head falls off onto the table. he says "pour me another". the bartender says "u better stop while your ahead"
lol
 

Oxide08

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your mama was so poor .... i seen her kickin a can down the street and i said what are you doin and she said moving
 

dP

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^ hahaha that made me laugh but since im at school i gotta, u know... shut the **** up
 
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