Gundam-Epsilon Wars

[Wing Zero]

Im not good but i am bord so...
Gundam is Bandai Property

Prelude
2 Years ago the remnants of the White Fang, rebuild the Libra but it was destroyed before it was completed. During the construction, the White Fang were working on a Project called the “Epsilon“. This was an attempt to create a “Organic†Mobile Suit, one that could heal, and learn. The White Fang was successful but the creation was out of control and put into a chamber and put into a long sleep, however the sleep was interrupted. When the Gundam and their forces went in to stop the construction of the Libra, they found the chamber where Epsilon sleeps. They destroyed the tank and it was released. The Gundam’s were able to destroy it but left a small piece, since the ability to heal it was able to repair its self after 2 years. (To be Continued)

 

[ORC-r0x0r-ROC]

This is my first time at fan fiction. I don't think I'll be posting any storys but I like rating so...meh. It's just a prelude so I can't really judge the style because preludes aren't really supposed to have any(or do they?). I need you to write some more then I can judge it correctly; I can only base this on what you give me.

Originality: 1/10 I can't really say this is anyway near original. It's based off a cartoon and it is clearly not aiming to be original. It has all been done before but the exact combination hasn't been done before (I think).

Spelling + Grammar: 8.5/10 "Remnants" and "rebuild" were the only mistakes, but they are most likely typo errors. Good spelling and grammar overall, puntuation is used when need but not sparsingly.

Content: 4/10 There just simply isn't enough here, they're some nice ideas but nothing really special. You have started a story pretty well; you have given room for a good story. You need to add more details to bulk it up a bit.

If I was you I would start again but this time try come away from the gundam wing theme, make your own world, with it's own background story and details. The theme ain't spectacular and needs some serious work, rewrite this, bulk it up, make some adjustments and for God's sake make it unreconisable that you got the idea of gundam wing. I would like to see what you could do in a long-term serious effort at writing a story.