Living a life with no tied ends. No direction, no signs to one's end. I ask myself with every hit. Will this be it? My final quit? How did I get this way? What led me down such a road? Was it fate? Am I destined to this endless fit? I try to tell the world threw every scream. That I'm not a bad guy, not to be labled as mean. But with every hit, my skin starts to split. ANd the demons within come out to play. I chose the wrong path to my problems. TO smoke it all away, when it only recides for another day. But my tank is getting full. To the point of no return. I don't want to be this person. To be condemed a eternal burn. God where have you been? While I absorb all this sin. Why did you not save me? What did I do wrong? Why did you let my dad hit my mom? Salvation is not the painkiller I need. I need you. I need to be saved. But as black and corrupted as I've become. To distrust the world. Falls all on you. You was never there for me when I need you most. I start to doubt. To rethink your salvation. Why would a god to do this to me? God where are you? Why do you not help this kid thats lost his way. I intake more chemicals each day, to fuel the hate I have for you. Abandoned me if you must. Because I don't need you anymore. Corrupt I shall be. Druggie I will be. Its all I know. ITs how I go. So take what you can from me. My dad, my health, my life. But in my final moment, my final breath, you will here me say, "god where were you?"