A tale of Drow

H

Hot Action Cop

It was quite some time ago... back in the dark ages, when a sword was forged. A sword that none could hold, for the power of this immortal blade was immense. Many a man has tried to master this unearthly weapon, and many a man have failed. Except one. Small for an elf, Aki Uliva was just a boy when he was put to work in the fields, gathering crops for his family. His family, although very poor in comparison to other countrys, was the richest in his small town. It had roughly 150 people, most of them farmers, and a small militant police force called Aeorth. The small town's few standing buildings were old, and torn and you could tell by one look that this war torn area was far from the rich and vast way it once was. For back before the War of the Drow, this was one of the wealthiest places on this earth. The crops grown were lush and rich in flavor, and the mines were filled with platinum, diamonds, rubys and gold. The weapons for the Militia were forged in Silver and laced with gold, and there never was a poor family. But that was before the Elven Paladins decided to stop protecting this once powerfull country, and to stay out of the Drow War. This was before they were left to fend for themselves against a much greater army of evil. The Drow came like a swift plauge and ravaged the large farms of the countrys capital, Uvite. They destroyed the mines of Uvite, the citizens were killed, and the large golden city was burned down, the gold that laced it melted and molded into bars for the drows personal gain. They cut off everything going in and out of the once immense country and are slowly choking it. Soon Aki and his family will not be able to provide for everyone. Once the winter comes, the far will be worthless, and the crops dead. That was if they even made it to the winter. The drows were moving fast, and the small army his country had could do nothing to prevent it. The High Council beleive that the drow will have swept the nation within a year.

Aki would work all day, and his brittle and grey scarred hands showed it. But he loved his work. The field his family owned was rather large, and had a large forrest behind it. He would go out into it at night and pretend he was slaying the drow. He got to mingle with natures love, and soon began to try and develope this love even further. Every now and then spurts of control over nature would occure, without warning. While out in the fields he found an old moldy book, covered in a green film and encased in hard mud. It was jammed under a tree on the edge by the forrest, and it looked very old. After weeks of trying he finally got it out of its hollowed entrapment, and flipped it open. With a magical explosion of light of all colors, he read the first words; the hollowed words that he would never forget: To fight a battle without passion, is to fight a battle without victory. He would keep these with him the rest of his life. Suddenly, a wirlwind of green and blue flames exploded and he was thrust into a whole new word. There were men and woman everywhere, all dressed in tattered rags that looked like patato sacks to Aki. Then he saw them. The Elven men holding whips, beating the already bloody slaves and shouting vulgar messages to work faster. Work harder. Aki did not beleive what he saw. He did not want to beleive it. It was too much. His own race, brutally enslaving those that had saved them back in the war of the world. He was disgusted, and in a hasty fury he dashed at a slave driver and tackled him. The driver got up with speed that Aki hadnt seen from a usually slow elf. Back home, it certainly was a dark time... the food was scarce and the Drow were getting closer everyday. It was too much for the Paladin elfs to try and help the small country-state of Vallador'f, and so they were force to defend themselfs in a losing battle against the hideously cruel beasts called drow. The driver whipped and beat the poor lad even after he was thrust into the ground, and blood poured down his back. His hand made silk work outfit was torn to shreds, and the cruel elf dragged Aki back to a small shed.

"This one has the nerve to attack me! The small mouse of an elf is wearing Vallador'f clouthing, but i havent a clue as to where this worthless runt came from." His voice was cold and dark as he spoke to an immensly tall and dark elf.

"Wander into Drow Territory little runt? Ha ha! Methinks its time to put you to work. Take him to the 2nd Kave. He needs to be broken in," inquired the devilishly tall man Aki must take for the Drow King.
The Drow Slave driver grabbed Aki by the ankles, and dragged him through the rocky caverns the must be mines into a very small room. The scent of blood chocked Aki like an iron vice around his neck. The driver chained Aki to the wall and whipped him profusely and tortured him for days, until sending him bloody, beaten, and in a daze to the mines. He worked all day, and worked all night.

He noticed a very tall, very muscular elf. Approaching it, he wondered why he hadnt tried to revolt. It was then this man turned around, and it was clear he HAD tried before. Many times it appeared. His back was scarred, and not just in one area. All over. He had been whipped profusely. His beard was stained with blood, and his hands marred from the work. he had been here long, and Just as Aki started to walk away, the man turned and grabbed Aki's cheeks.

"You. YOur him. That book. Where is it?" His voice was stern and gave Aki chills.

"Wha? how did you---" He was cut off abruptly

"Give me it!" His voice told Aki he wasnt one to mess with, so he pulled the book from his cloak and handed it over. This rugged man flipped it open and started to mumble a few words Aki could not yet understand. His eyes turned suddenly blood red and for a few moments he was surging with power, and just as it seemed to peak, it faded off.

"Boy where have you found this?"

"At my familys farm... it was lodged under a tree root."

"Read this line boy" His voice was harsh and deep, and Aki did as he asked. THere was a flash of light and Aki was thrown backward, the book slammed shut.

From that day forward the man trained the young boy day and night whenever the warden wasnt looking. He would develope the small bursts of power into something much larger, and he told Aki once that he would lead the revolution.

MORE LATER



I will be adding more later, feel free to voice your input but dont add onto it if you will please. Suggestions are welcome too.
 

TheNamelessYam

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good story dude

some of the words are spelled incorrectly

please add some description of what his hometown was like and what it looked like, tell about the fields he worked in, tell how the weird place he went to when he found the book looked like. as far as im concerned the only description in there is how savagely he was beaten :|
 
H

Hot Action Cop

well i have about 9 pages written thats just a kinda of prelude to it. I will add some descriptions in there when i get the time.
 

l33t 0n3

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I'm likin it, Dr. Ku. keep it up, im looking forward to reading your book >:D

I give this story prelude a 10/10!!
 
H

Hot Action Cop

lol thx im adding to it slowly... now if only i could get cort to make my title

[FoRuM DoCtOr]
 

Emperor Pan I

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Cool story. I believe there was just to much emphasis upon beatings, and death, but it is also a good way to realy show what they are feeling.

You got a good story going there, post more, i need more.
 

TheNamelessYam

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Originally posted by l33t_0n3
I give this story prelude a 10/10!!
10 out of 10 is kinda of exaggerating, 10 out of 10 is like lord of the ring books lol. but hey, i give this 8 out of 10, but thats just for that piece. if i read more id probably give it higher because i wanna f00kin know what happens!
 

Emperor Pan I

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Story 7/10
originality 10/10
style 9/10
structured 8/10
Spelling/Grammer 6/10
Overall 8.5/10

Reviewers Comments
Great story, that is all i need to say.
 
H

Hot Action Cop

Update: Added a little bit about the book and the kids developing powers.
 

TheNamelessYam

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yeah seriously now ive been like guessing whats gonna happen next lol.

btw, nice avy o_O
 
H

Hot Action Cop

Originally posted by Hot Action Cop
It was quite some time ago... back in the dark ages, when a sword was forged. A sword that none could hold, for the power of this immortal blade was immense. Many a man has tried to master this unearthly weapon, and many a man have failed. Except one. Small for an elf, Aki Uliva was just a boy when he was put to work in the fields, gathering crops for his family. His family, although very poor in comparison to other countrys, was the richest in his small town. It had roughly 150 people, most of them farmers, and a small militant police force called Aeorth. The small town's few standing buildings were old, and torn and you could tell by one look that this war torn area was far from the rich and vast way it once was. For back before the War of the Drow, this was one of the wealthiest places on this earth. The crops grown were lush and rich in flavor, and the mines were filled with platinum, diamonds, rubys and gold. The weapons for the Militia were forged in Silver and laced with gold, and there never was a poor family. But that was before the Elven Paladins decided to stop protecting this once powerfull country, and to stay out of the Drow War. This was before they were left to fend for themselves against a much greater army of evil. The Drow came like a swift plauge and ravaged the large farms of the countrys capital, Uvite. They destroyed the mines of Uvite, the citizens were killed, and the large golden city was burned down, the gold that laced it melted and molded into bars for the drows personal gain. They cut off everything going in and out of the once immense country and are slowly choking it. Soon Aki and his family will not be able to provide for everyone. Once the winter comes, the far will be worthless, and the crops dead. That was if they even made it to the winter. The drows were moving fast, and the small army his country had could do nothing to prevent it. The High Council beleive that the drow will have swept the nation within a year.

Aki would work all day, and his brittle and grey scarred hands showed it. But he loved his work. The field his family owned was rather large, and had a large forrest behind it. He would go out into it at night and pretend he was slaying the drow. He got to mingle with natures love, and soon began to try and develope this love even further. Every now and then spurts of control over nature would occure, without warning. While out in the fields he found an old moldy book, covered in a green film and encased in hard mud. It was jammed under a tree on the edge by the forrest, and it looked very old. After weeks of trying he finally got it out of its hollowed entrapment, and flipped it open. With a magical explosion of light of all colors, he read the first words; the hollowed words that he would never forget: To fight a battle without passion, is to fight a battle without victory. He would keep these with him the rest of his life. Suddenly, a wirlwind of green and blue flames exploded and he was thrust into a whole new word. There were men and woman everywhere, all dressed in tattered rags that looked like patato sacks to Aki. Then he saw them. The Elven men holding whips, beating the already bloody slaves and shouting vulgar messages to work faster. Work harder. Aki did not beleive what he saw. He did not want to beleive it. It was too much. His own race, brutally enslaving those that had saved them back in the war of the world. He was disgusted, and in a hasty fury he dashed at a slave driver and tackled him. The driver got up with speed that Aki hadnt seen from a usually slow elf. Back home, it certainly was a dark time... the food was scarce and the Drow were getting closer everyday. It was too much for the Paladin elfs to try and help the small country-state of Vallador'f, and so they were force to defend themselfs in a losing battle against the hideously cruel beasts called drow. The driver whipped and beat the poor lad even after he was thrust into the ground, and blood poured down his back. His hand made silk work outfit was torn to shreds, and the cruel elf dragged Aki back to a small shed.

"This one has the nerve to attack me! The small mouse of an elf is wearing Vallador'f clouthing, but i havent a clue as to where this worthless runt came from." His voice was cold and dark as he spoke to an immensly tall and dark elf.

"Wander into Drow Territory little runt? Ha ha! Methinks its time to put you to work. Take him to the 2nd Kave. He needs to be broken in," inquired the devilishly tall man Aki must take for the Drow King.
The Drow Slave driver grabbed Aki by the ankles, and dragged him through the rocky caverns the must be mines into a very small room. The scent of blood chocked Aki like an iron vice around his neck. The driver chained Aki to the wall and whipped him profusely and tortured him for days, until sending him bloody, beaten, and in a daze to the mines. He worked all day, and worked all night.

He noticed a very tall, very muscular elf. Approaching it, he wondered why he hadnt tried to revolt. It was then this man turned around, and it was clear he HAD tried before. Many times it appeared. His back was scarred, and not just in one area. All over. He had been whipped profusely. His beard was stained with blood, and his hands marred from the work. he had been here long, and Just as Aki started to walk away, the man turned and grabbed Aki's cheeks.

"You. YOur him. That book. Where is it?" His voice was stern and gave Aki chills.

"Wha? how did you---" He was cut off abruptly

"Give me it!" His voice told Aki he wasnt one to mess with, so he pulled the book from his cloak and handed it over. This rugged man flipped it open and started to mumble a few words Aki could not yet understand. His eyes turned suddenly blood red and for a few moments he was surging with power, and just as it seemed to peak, it faded off.

"Boy where have you found this?"

"At my familys farm... it was lodged under a tree root."

"Read this line boy" His voice was harsh and deep, and Aki did as he asked. THere was a flash of light and Aki was thrown backward, the book slammed shut.

From that day forward the man trained the young boy day and night whenever the warden wasnt looking. He would develope the small bursts of power into something much larger, and he told Aki once that he would lead the revolution.

MORE LATER



I will be adding more later, feel free to voice your input but dont add onto it if you will please. Suggestions are welcome too.

Since corts a dumb ass (j/k dont ban me plz :D) and took away my edit ability like a moron (j/k dont ban me please) i continue this way taking up MORE damn space than editing (j/k dont ban me this is fine)

Ok

For years they trained hard, and the boy did his best. He was conjuring up small magical spells and illusions and even some offensive spells now. But alas, their time together was drawing near as the frail weakened and now very old man drew nearer, and nearer his deathbed. Aki knew it was happening, and he wanted to deny it but he couldnt. it was inevitable. So, during their training, the man dropped dead of a heart failure, the stress had drained his life from him. Aki saw two drow approaching out of the corner of his eye, and he quickly hid the book. The drow walked over, and with a crack of their whips, Aki was back to work on the mines. They carried the body of the man that had become Aki's father with little respect, and swung it around like a ball on a teather. He was disgarded into his room, sewn up into a bag. It was now that Aki made his escape. He snuck into the mans cell, took the body and put it under the covers of his bed. He then sewed himself shut in the body bag with a broken plate he would use to cut his way out. The drow tossed the body into the deep nearby river, which was now brown and polluted. He worked fast, Aki did. He sliced and cut and sliced and cut until the hard leather encasing was off him, swam to the opposite show, and made off into the woods, his book in hand. He sat down under a large oak tree and wept. He came to the mines a boy, and left a man. It was then he made a promise to himself, and to his people, that he would one day return to free them from the horrors of drow kind


More Later!
 
H

Hot Action Cop

Re: Re: A tale of Drow

Originally posted by Hot Action Cop
Since corts a dumb ass (j/k dont ban me plz :D) and took away my edit ability like a moron (j/k dont ban me please) i continue this way taking up MORE damn space than editing (j/k dont ban me this is fine)

Ok

For years they trained hard, and the boy did his best. He was conjuring up small magical spells and illusions and even some offensive spells now. But alas, their time together was drawing near as the frail weakened and now very old man drew nearer, and nearer his deathbed. Aki knew it was happening, and he wanted to deny it but he couldnt. it was inevitable. So, during their training, the man dropped dead of a heart failure, the stress had drained his life from him. Aki saw two drow approaching out of the corner of his eye, and he quickly hid the book. The drow walked over, and with a crack of their whips, Aki was back to work on the mines. They carried the body of the man that had become Aki's father with little respect, and swung it around like a ball on a teather. He was disgarded into his room, sewn up into a bag. It was now that Aki made his escape. He snuck into the mans cell, took the body and put it under the covers of his bed. He then sewed himself shut in the body bag with a broken plate he would use to cut his way out. The drow tossed the body into the deep nearby river, which was now brown and polluted. He worked fast, Aki did. He sliced and cut and sliced and cut until the hard leather encasing was off him, swam to the opposite show, and made off into the woods, his book in hand. He sat down under a large oak tree and wept. He came to the mines a boy, and left a man. It was then he made a promise to himself, and to his people, that he would one day return to free them from the horrors of drow kind


More Later!

It was getting dark, and after running all day to escape the searching drow, Aki decided it was best to stop. He took a sharp corner, and peered from behind a large oak tree, to make sure he wasnt being followed. He had a nagging suspicion that someone had been watching him, but he dismissed it as if it were nothing. He used what little he knew of his powers, and pulled up a long narrow patch of fluffly green grass. This should make a nice bed , he thought. And yet, as he lay down, he still suspected that some how, something was studying his every move. Again he brushed these odd thoughts aside and started to sleep.

He awoke abruptly next morning and again had a nagging suspicion that he was being watched. This time it was answered before he could even try to get rid of it... a tall man with a tigers head stood before him. He had a long spear drawn, and was starring at Aki. He moved to attack, and aki threw her hands out in self defense. White vines glowing vigurously grew from her finger tips... wrapping the man in a cucoon of plants.

"Please... let me go... i wish not to hurt you. I am a friend of the writer of that book you hold."


More Later.
 
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"Who... who wrote my book...?"

"We need to go... we must leave... before the drow find you. They dont let prisioners go very often..."

So they ran hard and fast, and it felt like an elephant was sitting on Aki's chest. He held the book close. he did not know this.... abomination... and did not trust it. He knew it was once human, because he had no idea as to what this creature was, and he traveled these woods daily back in his youth. Just as they hit the brim of the forest, Aki outstretched his hands, (the book still in one) and a wall of thorned brush flew up in front of the tiger-man. More and more walls flew around it until he... or she... he did not know... was completely encased in a thorny prison. Aki ran in the other direction with the tiger man behind him, yelling and shouting at aki why he needs him. Aki had to get back to his villiage... he had to find his family. So after three or four days, he did not know which, passed he was out on the forest by his old farm. He could see in the distance an army of tall, black creatures. He knew they were drow. He put his hands onto the ground, and his fingers grew into vines. His eyes went white, and he was glowing green. He could tap into the flowers surronding the house the drow were walking by... and he heard disturbing news.

"If that young boy in fact is still alive... he will come back here. When he finds his home town torched and his family kid napped he will come back willingly. Our source tells us he can control plants...."

The drow drew long, silver swords, and kicked in the door of Natu... his life long friend whome he grew up with. He heard screams, and Natu's parents were thrown out the windows, daggers japped into their chests. They were dead...

Aki watched for hours as they tortured and killed almost everyone he knew, before moving on.


More later.
 

Unknown_Being

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Nice story. 8/10. Oh, and in my opinion LotR is a 7/10. It's nicely written(both LotR ands this), yet it lacks... suspense, surprise, or anything like that.
 
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