LOL JOEK

[Samsara]

>DON'T FART IN BED
>
>If this story does not make you cry from laughing so hard, let me know
>
>and I will pray for you.
>
>
>This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
>
>The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
>
>loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and
>
>the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
>
>
>
>Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because
>
>it was making her sick.
>
>
>
>He told her he could not stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
>
>
>
>She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would
>
>blow his guts out.
>
>
>
>The years went by and he continued to rip them out!
>
>
>
>Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for
>
>dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
>had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare
>parts
>and a malicious thought came to her.
>
>She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
>and,
> gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
>waistband
>of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
>
>
>
>Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
>
>which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
>
>footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
>
>
>
>The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
>
>laughing, tears in her eyes!
>
>
>
>After years of torture, she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
>
>
>
>About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
>
>bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.
>
>
>
>She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
>
>
>
>He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and
>
>I didn't listen to you".
>
>
>
>"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
>
>
>
>"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
>
>out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
>
>Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

[SweatyOgre]

3/10

Was lame until the end, which was only mildly less lame.