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BattleForums.com Blizzard Gaming Forums > General > Teh Void
Would you like to know the benefits of being Jesus?

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View Poll Results: Wanna know the benefits of being Jay?
Hell Yes! 2 28.57%
Hell, no! 0 0%
Stfu!!! 0 0%
random answer 1 14.29%
I'm a pussy and won't answer. 0 0%
I have a wiener. 2 28.57%
I am Jesus. (But wanna know it, anyways) 2 28.57%
Voters: 7. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-20-2005, 04:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Would you like to know the benefits of being Jesus?
There are several good reasons to be Jesus:

1. You don't drown.
2. You don't die.
3. You smell good.
4. You have allways clean underware.
5. You have alot of friends!
and many, many more ...
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Last edited by mefisto_monster; 02-20-2005 at 04:07 AM. Reason: I sold my sole.
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Old 02-20-2005, 05:46 AM   #2 (permalink)
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wouldn't you rather be judas? he lived longer, wasn't crucified, and got a lot of gold.. jesus died young (maybe not so young for that time), died a horribly unimaginable death, and was a poor ass mofo.. **** being jesus, he can keep his dirty rags to himself
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Old 02-20-2005, 06:09 AM   #3 (permalink)
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ugh another stupid thread...

its all up to your true beliefs
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Old 02-20-2005, 06:13 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hey, what if Jesus was a "masochrist"? lol
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Old 02-20-2005, 06:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
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that's a good point.. he might have gotten off to the crucifiction.. his last words were actually "YEA BABY NAIL ME HARDER"
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Old 02-20-2005, 03:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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XD That's exactly my point! And he didn't really die, but Judas suffers the torments of purgatory. Think about it!
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Last edited by mefisto_monster; 02-20-2005 at 03:56 PM. Reason: "Ram it in, baby!"
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Old 02-20-2005, 06:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I think Jesus had a contagious brain dementia. That's why people thought they were healed when he was around them. Judas had the special gene necessary to resist Jesus's hallucinatory powers on a microscopic level, saw him for the threat he was, and turned him in. They had to nail him to a cross to be absolutely sure he didn't try to touch anyone else and spread the infection further. It was like an archaic Resident Evil.
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Old 02-21-2005, 09:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Woa! Maybe that's how it all started ...
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Old 02-22-2005, 07:43 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Imagine! IMAGINE, I SAY!!! You'd have to re-wright the bible! OMG! "The Book of RoaCh"!!!
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Last edited by mefisto_monster; 02-22-2005 at 07:44 PM. Reason: Seek the truth. Seek the scriptues of RoaCh of DisCord.
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Old 02-22-2005, 08:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Book of Roach...*shudders*

That would be blasphemy on the most highest level...
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