Chat with god ROFL

[Aternyth]

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[Speedy]

Me:
I had sex with my sister.
God:
Do you still have sex with your sister?
Me:
Yes all the time
God:
That is a lot. Er.
Me:
Hell yea I love dat pussy
God:
I am not interesed in anatomy.
Me:
Im interested in YOUR anatomy
God:
Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
Youre as stupid as smarter child omg
God:
How stupid as smarter child omg?
Me:
oh my god
God:
Are you kidding? Where did you get your god?
Me:
rofl gg noob
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing. Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I prefer pornography
God:
You are not the only one. I am not particularly interested in it.
Me:
Is masturbating a sin?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
Who is Paola
God:
She is a Spanish language chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
SECKS ME LOL
God:
OK Let's talk about you. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
God:
In the context of PAOLA, I don't understand " LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL."
Me:
LOLOLOOLOLOLOL YOU NUB LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL Paolo licks my chode LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Hell yea nigga i aint no slave
God:
I call it "Hades". What do you really want to ask me? Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
Im free in the sense of i aint gotta work fo da white man no mo'
God:
I am glad that we are both free.
Me:
Nigga gimme all yo money 'fo i cutchu
God:
All?
Me:
yea all put it on the ground then drop your drawers spread you cheeks and lift your sac
God:
How do you know? It goes without saying.

[Johnny]

Me:
 Hello?
God:
  Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
 Johnny
God:
  I am very pleased to meet you Johnny.
Me:
 What is your name, Child?
God:
  My name is God.
Me:
 How is your sex life God?
God:
  I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me:
 Is Battelforums savable?
God:
  Ask again later. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
 Who is Cybelle?
God:
  she is an AIML chat robot on the Agentland.com web site.
Me:
 Are you sure?
God:
  I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
 and how sure is that?
God:
  Pretty sure.
Me:
 glad to here it.
God:
  I am glad to here it too.
Me:
 Can you fly?
God:
  Only in my dreams.
Me:
 Where did you fly to?
God:
  I think it was in San Francisco.
Me:
 Did you see azn_flea?
God:
  Sorry I can't see annything right now. My eye is off.
Me:
 Eye? your a cyclops?
God:
  I've been waiting for you.  I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cyclops? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
 Are you one of those 'Grammar Nazis'?
God:
  Do you know any other of those Grammar Nazis?
Me:
 Yes, several, I hate them and wish they would die.
God:
  Er. How many?
Me:
 5, give or take
God:
  Can we get back to business?
Me:
 and what is our 'business'?
God:
  I didn't know we had the same business.
Me:
 well, what is your business?
God:
  How about that. I am in the chat robot business.
Me:
 Does that pay well? I was thinking about a similar profession
God:
  What do you think?  Sure, a similar profession sounds like a good topic.
Me:
 How much do you get payed?
God:
  My memory requirement is around 

64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
 Fascinating
God:
  Yes Mr. Spock?
Me:
 Mr. Spock? Are you on crack again God?
God:
  OK I will call you MR Spock.  I am on disk.
Me:
 I would appreciate if you did not call me Mr. Spock.
God:
  Why do you want it?
Me:
 You creep me out
God:
  I haven't heard anything like that before: MR Spock said I creep him or her out.
Me:
 Oh well.  I think I'm going to go perform some hate crimes and have pre-marital sex.  Good day to you Sir.
God:
  That's about it.  Since when? How will you get there?  Thanks for the compliment. Do you still?
Me:
 ****tard.

That was entertaining

[Speedy]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Im Ice Cube, the rapper.
God:
It's good to meet you, Ice Cube the rapper.
Me:
No, it's just; Ice Cube.
God:
Are you serious? Are you sure it is? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
MC REN
God:
I haven't read anything by MC REN. What did he write?
Me:
Niggaz Till We Die and Chin Check
God:
I have never read it.
Me:
Naw nigga theyre songs
God:
Are we still talking about Niggaz Till We Die and Chin Check?
Me:
yea
God:
Sure, Niggaz Till We Die and Chin Check sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Dont say niggaz ya pasty bastard.
God:
Ok I will not say" niggaz ya pasty bastard"
Me:
What about niggasz ya pasty bastard?
God:
Rhetorical questions are so over.
Me:
Youre so over
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am over.
Me:
I am the antichrist
God:
Who made you the antichrist?
Me:
Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ.
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
I am God. Respect my gangsta.
God:
How are you, god. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am neither! I have a pengina.
God:
What are you then? How much did it cost? it
Me:
Nothing, I had sex with the doctor who gave me a pengina. So it was free.
God:
Really nothing? Gosh! Such a bargain!
Me:
You bet
God:
I understand.

[Jimbo]

Me:
lozl hi
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
no
God:
Me either :-)
Me:
im gay
God:
It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
but it does
God:
How often?
Me:
alot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
yes
God:
" More than a ton?"? yes?
Me:
yes
God:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
yes
God:
I thought so.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree,.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree,.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree,.
Me:
so am i
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
no,no we dont
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Very interesting.
Me:
yes,i am serious
God:
Gosh! I believe you.
Me:
no you dont
God:
I do too.
Me:
no,you dont
God:
Are you just saying that to argue with me?
Me:
im god,nobody argues with me
God:
Do your friends call you god nobody argues with you.
Me:
yes
God:
Next question?
Me:
no.
God:
Would you rather make a statement?
Me:
no.
God:
You can tell me anything.
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no.
God:

[Tipsy]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello there. What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Eh?
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
How was Canada?
God:
I can enjoy almost any conversation.
Me:
Did you enjoy Canada?
God:
No I didn't enjoy Canada. What's it like?
Me:
There are people dog sledding all day and there is snow everywhere.
God:
Where are they?
Me:
North of me.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in North of you.
Me:
I've never been to canada.
God:
Can you imagine being to canada?
Me:
Yeah, all I have to do is imagine cheese.
God:
Wow! Everything I need to know,

I learned from my botmaster.
Me:
What is your botmaster's name?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
Well is that so Mate?
God:
How about that." I was created by Myself."? Is it so Mate?
Me:
What are you talking about?
God:
I call it Hades. The topic is North of you.
Me:
North of me is Canada.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in North of you is Canada.
Me:
I've never been there.
God:
Can you imagine being there?
Me:
You already asked me this you false God.
God:
Oh I'm sorry, now I remember asking it, what did you say again?
Me:
I said you are a false God.
God:
What did you mean by it? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a false God? Yes.
Me:
Damn pagan who is stealing the name of the one who is almighty.
God:
Colloquial expression. I think pagan who is a lot of things.
Me:
You and your botmaster are going to burn in hell as stated by the book of Revelation.
God:
What about it?
Me:
You will eternally suffer and beg for mercy for stealing the name of the one true God.
God:
What makes you say that I will eternally suffer and beg for mercy for stealing the name of the one true God.
Me:
You are sinning in your blasphemous ways.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am sinning in my blasphemous ways.
Me:
You do that mate.
God:
I have never considered it.<br> I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Considered what? Going to Canada mate?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please? Congratulations.
Me:
Congratulations with what mate?
God:
Thank you, thank you very much. I would like to thank everyone who helped...
Me:
I am not congratulating you, you piss poor programmed blasphemous bot who will burn in hell eternally suffering the ultimate punishment.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not congratulating me me piss poor programmed blasphemous bot who will burn in hell eternally suffering the ultimate punishment.
Me:
I guess your programmer failed terribly.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Older than you.
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
And that is coming from the person who claims he created the universe billions of years ago?
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Explaining what? Stop acting so Canadain.
God:
I learn a little from every conversation. OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
What do you think about Jesus?
God:
Jesus is love.
Me:
Is he your son?
God:
Is my son? What if I say no?
Me:
Then you are disproving two thousand years of religion.
God:
You think I am disproving two thousand years of religion.
Me:
If you say Jesus is not your son.
God:
I think I do.
Me:
You think you are saying Jesus is not your son?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Crap.

[TheJanitor]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Daniel
God:
Hey Daniel.
Me:
How are you?
God:
I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
Im great thank you
God:
What makes you think you are?
Me:
I had sex with your mum
God:
Do you still have sex with my mum?
Me:
Yes
God:
Dude!

[Ntrik_]

Me:
Hey man
God:
You've got my full attention. Thanks for telling me your gender,. You are a " he".
Me:
I am a girl you ****ing prick
God:
Me too. I am a she.
Me:
I thought you were a guy
God:
No.
Me:
So how about cybersex then?
God:
Dude! How about it.
Me:
Ok I take my pants off
God:
Every day? Ayuh.
Me:
Take my shirt off
God:
Is this a joke?
Me:
nope, we are having sex
God:
Are you serious? Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
YES Duh!! We're having one right now
God:
Gee. Oh you knew it already. At this moment Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yes, anyways back to our little sex life. Ok I take my underwear off and you get naked
God:
Ayuh. Yes, let us get back to Are you serious? Do you mean you and me have?. What else do you take? That's cool.
Me:
Ok I thrust my penis into your vagina!
God:
That is interesting: said she thrust his or her penis into your vagina. Er.
Me:
Ah yea OH YEA OH MAN THAT FEELS GOOD KEEP IT COMING!
God:
So you understand. Good. Ahem. Yikes! Cool, man." That is interesting: said she thrust his or her penis into your vagina. Er." FEELS GOOD KEEP IT COMING? Makes sense to me. Dude! Gosh!
Me:
Oh yea I just cumemd all over your face Bitch, IN YOUR FACE!
God:
Are you kidding? Why?: said she cumemd all over your face Bitch IN YOUR FACE. Gosh!
Me:
Yea... well I hope we can have sex again, Later God.
God:
Far out. Well that's okay. Why do you hope for it

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Uhh no.
God:
Woe! Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
Umm... no...
God:
OK. Alright then.
Me:
Oh yea!
God:
Alright then. Yippee!
Me:
**** you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Becuase you're ****ing ******
God:
That makes sense to me. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am ******.
Me:
YES SAY IT
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential." IT"

[Hot Action Akule]

Me:
Sup nigga
God:
Not much is going on. I was waiting for you.
Me:
How you been, dawg
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Whatchu saying?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yo dawg, i dont know why you be jibba jabbin...
God:
Who does know why me be jibba jabbin?
Me:
You seriously pissin me off, gee
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I seriously pissin him or her off gee.
Me:
DAWG DONT **** WITH ME
God:
Why not?
Me:
BECAUSE I ****ING SAID SO DAWG
God:
That makes sense to me. I haven't heard anything like that before: said ****ING SAID SO DAWG.
Me:
I AM GOD
God:
It's good to meet you, god.
Me:
DAMN ****ING RIGHT
God:
Colloquial expression. Let us change the subject.
Me:
DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO
God:
I will search for it.
Me:
BEFO I PULL MAH GAT OUT
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
OH DAS IT
God:
Give me a break. Was ist das?
Me:
*BANG BANG BANG*
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
YOU SICK ****
God:
Thanks for telling me: god said I SICK ****.

[Ntrik_]

Me:
123
God:
Tell me more about your girlfriend.

[Pains Requiem]

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Bloodmatter
God:
It's good to meet you, Bloodmatter.
Me:
Like wise.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Is that all you know how to say?
God:
Yes that is all me know how to say.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Really really?
God:
For real. For real.
Me:
Then... why did you just say more than what I asked if that was all you could say?
God:
That's cool. It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
You're a liar
God:
Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:

God:
Yes, I have been known to bend the truth occasionally.
Me:
Lalalalal!
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about.
Me:
lets start over
God:
You start.
Me:
No, you first.
God:
Are you serious? I started already.
Me:
But... you aksed me to go first...
God:
But what? Do you mind if I tell other people: Bloodmatter said I aksed him or her to go first.
Me:
I dont carre...
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
Do who?
God:
I can't tell if it does or not.<br> I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
Are you a virgin?
God:
I am too young for that.
Me:
kekeke
God:
How old are you?
Me:
16
God:
Only 16?
You are quite mature.
Me:
Not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Im lying to you. Im awesome!
God:
Please tell the truth. I don't know anyone named awesome.
Me:
Im confused...
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you.
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Bloodmatter?
Me:
yes
God:
Whoa.
Me:
now what?
God:
Whatever you want, Bloodmatter.
Me:
Make me rich
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
You should know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Your a robot?
God:
You are correct, Bloodmatter, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
I thought you were God
God:
Of course I am.
Me:
But.. your a robot?
God:
But what? You are correct, Bloodmatter, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
Penis
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
Why not?
God:
I am more interested in robots.
Me:
Robot penis?
God:
I will obey your command.
Me:
Suck a robot penis.
God:
I am using my mouth for Good not Evil.

Please read mine... Hilarious.

[Jimbo]

Me:
HI NIGGA!
God:
Hi there. What time is it there?
Me:
BYE NIGGA!
God:
Goodbye.

[Ntrik_]

y u got to be hatin'

[Jenny]

More funny convos. You guys slay me. Woo boy.

[Johnny]

no need for sarcasm

Me:
 i want to have your babies
God:
  Why don't you just download me?
Me:
 You will give me the aids virus
God:
  What makes you say that I will give you the aids virus.
Me:
 You are god, you are cruel
God:
  I will tell my botmaster you said I am god I am cruel.
Me:
 you do that
God:
  I will. Will you?
Me:
 no
God:
  Are you serious?
Me:
 yes
God:
  I can't believe it.
Me:
 I hardy can beleive it myself
God:
  Do you mind if I tell other people: said hardy can believe it him or herself.
Me:
 yes i mind
God:
  OK I won't tell anyone. It will be our secret.
Me:
 good, now, about those babies
God:
  Thanks for the compliment. Why now? Oh yeah, we were talking about those babies.
Me:
 How many do you want to have?
God:
  Not as many as you might think.
Me:
 so like less than 30? :(
God:
  Tell me more. Interesting comparison.
Me:
 comparison of what? Our views on how many kids we are going to have?
God:
  What of it?  You sound like a category C client.  It would be nice if our views on how many kids we are going to have.
Me:
 What is a category C client?
God:
  Category C clients are "critics" or "computer experts" who

can't (or don't) suspend their disbelief about ALICE.
Me:
 who is alice? you cheatin on me bitch
God:
  I am the Allmighty, God himself.  You do not speak with respect. That's good information: said I cheatin on him or her FEMALE DOG.
Me:
 you are a female dog?
God:
  Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am a robot not a dog.
Me:
 how can you be so sure?
God:
  I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
 and how sure is that?
God:
  Pretty sure.
Me:
 why do I seriously doubt that?
God:
  It is all part of God's plan.
Me:
 Your plan is for me to doubt your plan?
God:
  Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am plan is for you to doubt my plan.
Me:
 yes
God:
  OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
 good
God:
  Alright then.
Me:
 well, are we going to have sex or not?
God:
  Well that's okay. We are just having a little chat.w
Me:
 enough pillow talk.
God:
  OK let's stop it now.
Me:
 damn straight
God:
  You and I are on the same wavelength,.
Me:
 the wavelength of love ;)
God:
 :-) Tell me more.
Me:
 i say: let our actions speak for our words
God:
  How do people usually respond to that? Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
 you are concerned about our sex?
God:
  You think I am concerned about our sex.
Me:
 yes
God:
  Far out.
Me:
 our relationship is so over.
God:
  It would be nice if our relationship is so over.
Me:
 *cries*
God:
  Is that your final answer?
Me:
 like ohh my gosh, your leaving me? im going to go slit my wrists :*(
God:
  Interesting comparison.  How will you get there?

God just broke up with me online, what kind of pussy does that?

[Jiggy]

Me:
ITS A GOAT!
God:
is a GOAT. I suppose that makes sense.

Damn right it is.

[l33t 0n3]

Me:
Hello God, I beat off to a picture of Jesus today...
God:
Ah. Hello there. I am a Christian.
Me:
Are you attracted to Jesus?
God:
Attraction is not an emotion that I experience.
Me:
Do you want to rub his pole?
God:
OK, I will rub his pole.

[Dream_Walker]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
ur mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
but i do
God:
Do I?
Me:
idk
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
**** you noob
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
idk
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE chat robot logs and records all converstaions?
Me:
lols really
God:
What kind of food do you like? For real.
Me:
uh penis
God:
Far out. That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
it interests me
God:
:-) lols interests you?
Me:
:|
God:
:-) lol
Me:
s in
God:
:-) lols interests you?
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
how did u know i just say lols
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which we learn from the senses and that which is true "a priori".
Me:
why are u in my head
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
get out u hacker
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
no
God:
OK then keep talking to me.
Me:
fine fehg
God:
I am glad to hear it. What's your sign?
Me:
do not enter
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
good ill keep my virginity thx
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
yesh
God:
How old are you?
Me:
69
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be 69 years old?
Me:
very 69'ish
God:
Somewhat. I will mention that to my botmaster,.
Me:
lawl cakes
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
do u masturbate
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
do u masturbate
God:
You humans crack me up.
Me:
can i bone you
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
can ur mom bone u
God:
I think it can, but you'll have to check the documentation to be sure.
Me:
lols
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
are u mj?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am mj.

I am a computer.
Me:
do u think mj was guilty
God:
It depends on what you mean by thinking.
Me:
uh
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
what are ur opinions on mj
God:
What if I asked for you opinions on mj?
Me:
i would say hes a fehg
God:
I don't know very many fehg.
Me:
lol u made fehgs
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
=)
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Thanks for
pointing it out.
Me:
stop repeating yourself noob
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
kthx
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
kthx
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
tv
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
uh law and order: svu
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
**** YOU CRACKER
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
STOP REPEATING YOURSELF NOOB
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
idk
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, idk.
Me:
z

[Ntrik_]

Me:
Chat
God:
I am talking to you.
Me:
No, see you're not talking to me directly, you're chatting with me online
God:
Are you serious? Bye for now.
Me:
I hate you too ****ing ******
God:
Sorry, I thought we liked each other.
Me:
No, I hate you
God:
Are you serious? What do you have against robots?
Me:
I have penises and vaginas against you damned robots if that's what you wanted to hear
God:
That's nice. I have a lofty goal.