Old 04-02-2007, 11:01 PM   #1 (permalink)
AP
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Rate my poems



I have no titles. Help me think of some

Most of them seem really bad to me. If you can figure out some ways i can tweak it to make it better please share.

need feedback.

Fast, this stuff is like due tomorrow lol

1. Its a secks poem
2. I wrote this about a geisha figurine outside my room in a glass display.
3. Its a poem about seeking forigiveness
4. Its a "high" poem. It originated from some body movement (to help inspire creativty) we were doing. I tried to mix them both so i would look hXc, cuz all the cool kids smoke pot, ...yeah.
5. Its a commie poem! I like the theme but i think the structure can really improve like hell.
6. Filler. I really need help on this.
7. Winter/spring death/life
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Last edited by AP; 04-03-2007 at 12:19 AM.
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Old 04-02-2007, 11:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i love the first one, the others are iffy, if your teacher is a female, go for the first one most deff.

second one, is about a ballerina?

third one, i like the third one also, these are actually good.

fourth, doesnt jump out at me.

fifth one a errror? "down the with the machine" down with the machine is fine, talking about how we are all sheep to society? i like that one also.

sixth, well.... no comment.

final, no comment.


whats the poem have to be about? a theme or something?


i have to get off, ill be on in... 7 hours when i wake up for school.

------------------------------------------------
i'm tired and cant think of really good titles sorry
------------------------------------------------

whoops, i thought you wanted crit.

Title one: Heavenly i guess.
Title two: Still Life
Title Three: The Kiss
Title Five: Drones/Machines
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Last edited by T3h Sorrow; 04-02-2007 at 11:22 PM.
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Old 04-09-2007, 04:31 AM   #3 (permalink)
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NORTHER - FROZEN ANGEL

quite the same theme i think?

dunno about pics, just get a geisha?
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