Old 11-21-2005, 02:44 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Quote:
There was once a man who visited Prague
His **** was brown and looked like a log
He said he loved me and that he cared
So I cut off his balls and he got scared
And the he slit his wrists
You threw off the meter in the last line too! Completely caught me off guard! Whew...I'm going to need a minute to get my nerves back together.
Quote:
I wish Stephanie would let me borrow her poem book from Hot Topic.

I could fill up 4-5 pages worth.
7/10

A poem about writing poems...Hmmm...Kind of abstract, but I'd say a little bit cliche as well. Unneeded, I think, is the bit about "Hot Topic". It only confuses your meter and it seems unnecessary to say where you bought the book from. Unless you were looking for "street creds" or the like by saying that you shop at Hot Topic. But still, I think overall it turned out okay. The first line really captures your yearning for the poem book quite well. Perhaps it's a metaphor for love?
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Old 11-21-2005, 04:25 PM   #22 (permalink)
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The cliche is what I was pointing out.
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"The Doors of Perception"

She danced around and round
To a guitar melody
From the fire her face
Was all aglow
How she enchanted me
Oh how I’d like to hold her near
And kiss and forever whisper in her ear




Last sexed by Darkmatter : 05-2-2005 at 5:47 PM.
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Old 04-21-2008, 11:18 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Re: Emo Poems

Aching pain, I’m lying here
Drenched in sorrow
Bathed in fear.
Who could find me,
Alone, in peace.
If they did my pain could cease.
Burning! Oh the sadness wells
For your heart I’d brave
The depths of hell.
The stars rise up
Clouds fall below.
I ****in’ love you, stupid ho!!
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Old 04-23-2008, 01:20 AM   #24 (permalink)
 
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Re: Emo Poems

listen ur new so im gonna give u this gentally
THE THREAD IS ****ING 3 YEARS OLD U DONT BUMP IT DUDE
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