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11-25-2005, 11:38 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 17 Posts: 1,048
| Evil amusement park. okay i need to write the negative dark side aout a amusement park. so for example.....
normal:
I was greeted with a clown with bring red make up to amplify his expressions.
Dark:
A clown, white like a corpse, spilling blood from his face came and attacked me.
anyyways i dont have problems with the normal side but they dark side i need help.
I could ur statics help right now
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11-26-2005, 12:49 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| D.A.N.C.E.
Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 5,176
| i got a candy apple
i got a human liver covered in blood?
i suck at these 
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11-26-2005, 12:50 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| BANNED
Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Auburn Posts: 2,014
| I walked into a fun loving amusement park, and to my dismay it was ran by Conservative Christians? |
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11-26-2005, 01:19 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| D.A.N.C.E.
Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 5,176
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Venice_native I walked into a fun loving amusement park, and to my dismay it was ran by Conservative Christians? | zing tee hee
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11-26-2005, 01:35 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 17 Posts: 1,048
| okay seriously i need help, i need like 5 more examples.
candy appl sort of gaved me an idea...
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11-26-2005, 01:36 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Honolulu, Hawaii Age: 20 Posts: 3,259
| i went to the bathroom to find a giant human penis attacking a homeless man with a baseball bat covered in aids-infected gum and hyperdermic needles? |
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11-26-2005, 05:48 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| Respected Member
Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: San Jose Age: 21 Posts: 4,204
| Based off the first sentence...
After the clown with blood spilling from his face attacked me, he threw me into a hall of mirrors where everyone I'd ever hated started to come at me from all directions! After they'd beat me into a pulp, they stuffed me onto the ferris wheel, where they sent me up to the very top, upon which they stopped the ride and all started to shake it and shake it until suddenly the wheel came off and I was hurtled down the street at breakneck speed, shrieking and flailing until the ferris wheel tumbled headlong into the amusement park's fence.
Now, for a new one:
Merrily, people rode the merry-go-round in circles.
I gaped in dismay at the merry-go-round, still spinning a bit, not quite at a halt. It creaked as though in disrepair, yet it appeared to have once been running. Of course, the dead giveaway would have been the fact that it was still fully loaded--with loads of corpses, once happy men, women, and children now being picked apart by birds and flesh-flies, eating their still-rotting flesh. |
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11-26-2005, 09:58 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| .VIcarious
Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,755
| graphic ^ ^
if that story was 55 words i woulda used it for my 55 word story assignment
__________________ I need to watch things die
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11-26-2005, 12:27 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 17 Posts: 1,048
| actually not gory but a dark point of view of something....
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11-27-2005, 06:17 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| Is a nasty little tart...
Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Hiding in your closet... Age: 20 Posts: 1,439
| The nice clown gave me a balloon animal!!! ^_^
The mean clown gave me a dead dogs head... O_o
Kayle:hop
__________________ Quote:
Originally Posted by Glowpole FLashflores walked in and said chupa mi pito. Then she munched on his dick like a macho burrito. | |
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11-27-2005, 06:26 PM
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#11 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2002 Age: 19 Posts: 1,371
| You've got to have some ideas about roller coasters...
I'm pretty sure I did this during 8th grade, when my roller coaster didn't have enough space in between gigantic hills and broke every rider's neck. So... - Maze in front of the bathrooms
- Concession stand sells rancid food, or maybe human body parts
- Roller coaster: Section is on fire, section goes through a shark tank, aforementioned hills, other things involving teeth and burning pains.
- Carousel... well, just a carousel, only all of the animals are alive and angry.
- What every creepy carnival movie has, other than creepy clowns-- the fun house with mirrors.
Mention something about the fair-goers having vacant looks on their faces, if you're going for creepy that way.
__________________ sry |
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11-27-2005, 07:26 PM
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#12 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Iraq Age: 22 Posts: 4,523
| Quote: |
Originally Posted by Venice_native I walked into a fun loving amusement park, and to my dismay it was ran by Conservative Christians? | "was" and "ran" My english has been brought down several points.
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11-27-2005, 07:52 PM
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#13 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 17 Posts: 1,048
| okay hers an exmaple of what im suppose to do.
THe sun last light blazed cheerfulyl across the sky. fireplies darted everywhere. -good
The sky turned angry blood red. From the woods we can see eerie glow of flies. - bad
That was the teachers example....
goota do the same thing within a amusement park
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11-28-2005, 07:41 AM
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#14 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: near Watertown, NY Age: 23 Posts: 2,985
| Wow, no one seems to understand this. I'm reading through it and noticing no one read the original topic, nor did they pay any heed to the poster's repeated attempts to tell them they were way outside the assignment's parameters. On the other hand, the original example was, itself, outside those same parameters. Sigh.
Here's a better example of what he needs:
Before: The entrance gate was brightly lit by the sun's early morning rays, many children eagerly waiting outside it in the brisk air, excited.
After: The dark black metal of the fence cast an even darker shadow, half-concealing the countless children who stood beside it, cold and motionless, anxious expressions marking every exposed face.
Edit: You don't change the situation, you just describe it with a darker atmosphere. Also, judging by the teacher's example, I wouldn't do what AP did and use 'me' or 'I' in the sentence. I think it's supposed to be from a third-person point of view, and describing various scenes at an amusement park, not events or a story.
__________________  WHEN WILL TEH EGG HATCH!?!! MEOWZ!!1
Last edited by -Azrael666-; 11-28-2005 at 07:44 AM.
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11-28-2005, 08:41 PM
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#15 (permalink)
| BattleForums Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 17 Posts: 1,048
| too late 66 i handed in master americas post.
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11-29-2005, 01:28 AM
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#16 (permalink)
| [F-Zero Fanatic]
Join Date: May 2003 Location: Phantom Road Age: 22 Posts: 15,544
| Clowns that molest you.
Roller Coasters that are so dangerous, you go flying into a brick wall.
Come on man, use your imagination for once  . |
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