[bamthedoc]

I didn't mean to insult you. I just tell it as it is. You put too much into a very short space. The concept looks good but needs more...dramatic flare, so to speak.

For example:

What are the thoughts of the other king? What is the main character thinking? What are his plans? How is his army the only one losing men? How come the psychic's prophocy takes to long to come into action?

You could also use a bit more foreshadowing. You could also show what the people of the kingdom are thinking. One suggestion though, you could look through the FF and find some of the stories submitted. Use those as inspiration if you want, but keep in mind how they go about telling a story.