[bamthedoc]

I have to be honest in my opinion, and that involves rating it.

Story 7/10
Originality 7/10
Style 8/10
Structured 5/10
Spelling/Grammer 4/10
Overall 7

With that said...you suffered in grammer because of a lack of puncuation. Also, spelling suffered because of things like "becuz". I didn't like how it was structured, but others may. It just didn't seem to suit the style of writing. It was fairly original, and the story was compelling enough. But...I don't think I got the jist of what exactly happened in the end, though you may have been going more for symbolism. Overall, well written.